Now Is The Discount Of Our Winter Tent

... as the probably apocryphal Stratford camping shop is supposed to have once proclaimed. Anyway, I feel I must apologise to GrumpyCoyoteTunes for this one, and indeed probably to everyone else as well, because this is, by my calculations, my June entry for the Bring the Song challenge, and, contrary to my usual custom, I appear to be putting it up in June. I can offer no explanation for this inexcusable lapse into efficiency, and can only promise that it won't happen again.

While Hamlet was preparing to watch the play (A, F#m)
With which he'd catch the conscience of the king, (A, F#m)
He was nervous, wondering if his scheme was really going to work, (A, F#m)
But he was also bothered by just one more thing; (A, F#m)
The queue for the Gents' was somewhat lengthy, (D, E7)
If he went now he might miss curtain up, (D, E7)
But on the other hand, he was busting for a piss. (D, E7)
He was quite unable to make his mind up. (D, E7)

To pee, or not to pee, that is the question. (A, F#m)
To pee or not to pee, that is the question. (A, F#m)

Hamlet was preparing to go camping with his friends
(We all know that he could be a but in-tents).
Some guy roped him into it, and he was stuck with all the planning,
'Cos Rozenkrantz and Guildenstern were dense.
He was unsure what sort of tent to pack
To accommodate them on their little trip.
He was unsure, having canvassed some opinion,
If the Amerinidian sort was out of fashion, or quite hip.

Teepee or not teepee, that is the question.
Teepee or not teepee, that is the question.

Macbeth, when he got lost while rallying from Paris, (D, A)
Wondered "Is this Dakar that I see before me?" (D, A)
Portia, finding leaves in eucalyptus tea in Liverpool, (D, A)
Found one thing that was not strained was the koala tea of Mersey. (B7, E)

Meanwhile, Hamlet, going travelling in the tropics,
Needed something to protect his balding pate
From the sun's most glaring rays, though not at noontide;
Mad princes aren't mad dogs, Great Dane though he was, some might state.
A straw poll found support for a Panama,
But he liked Laertes idea to get something somewhat more stiff,
Something more rigid, more like a helmet, but he worried;
Laertes had a habit of taking the pith

Topee or not topee, hat is the question.
Topee or not topee, hat is the question.

Tabby or not tabby, cat is the question.

Tubby or not tubby, fat is the question.

(In case anyone's wondering about verse 3, a sola topee is another term for the hat more usually known as a pith helmet. A slightly obscure joke, I'll concede, but it made me laugh, so I'm inflicting it on the rest of you).

Category:

Music

Tags:

• Ukulele
• Hamlet
• Shakespeare
• Terrible
• Jokes
• Sorry

[Scarytoaster]

Hurrah! Well done sir!

Bit disappointed you missed the obvious toupee joke...

[Blindingham]

I did think about putting in the toupee joke, but I didn't manage to come up with a good enough incarnation.

[deach69]

Amazing song!!

[Blindingham]

Thanks!

[russbuss415]

clever clever lyrics!

[Blindingham]

Thanks; it's often a fine line between clever and just plain tortuous with these things...

[loaf1986]

it looks like it's fun being you

bravo

[GrumpyCoyoteTunes]

awesome

[Blindingham]

Many thanks.

[Blindingham]

Blimey. Many thanks. Hope the weather improves.

[mjs004]

Wonderful!!