Can You Love the Narcissist and Rescue Him?

Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html

I believe in the possibility of loving narcissists if one accepts them unconditionally, in a disillusioned and expectation-free manner.

Narcissists are narcissists. Take them or leave them. Some of them are lovable. Most of them are highly charming and intelligent. The source of the misery of the victims of the narcissist is their disappointment, their disillusionment, their abrupt and tearing and tearful realisation that they fell in love with an ideal of their own making, a phantasm, an illusion, a fata morgana. This "waking up" is traumatic. The narcissist always remains the same. It is the victim who changes.

(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 2 DVDs with 12 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/thebook.html)

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[MikaShelley99]

@Ethioness Narcissists are psychopaths, why is it ridiculous?

[MsCartman74]

There is no reason a sane, normal person would want to love a narcissist. Period. A sane, normal person realizes they deserve love as much as the narcissist and will dump the loser and go find someone who treats them as an equal. Narcissists are psychopaths, gods in their own minds. They can only use people who don't recognize what they are and are deluded into believing they have a core goodness that love will bring out. They don't. Once you accept this hard truth, leave them alone.

[slim240293]

@gummynumberone Well, my father is what we'd call ''normal'' (actually, a normal idiot). Ruined my life and almost ruined my education, too! So you shut the fuck up, stop being sorry for yourself and stop complaining! It's not narcissists who fucked up this world, it's idiocracy... ;)

[MsCartman74]

@gummynumberone you look at a a drug addict and you can see that the drug is killing them, yet they can't live without it. a narcissist is, a drug. Because they treat people badly, they need people who WANT to be treated badly. because the person has been manipulated to believe they deserve that, they actually want and desire it. The solution is to remove the drug (the narcissist) and it becomes clear that that reality is solely a creation of the narcissist's mental illness.

[MsCartman74]

@gummynumberone it's similar to the analogy of a drug addiction. People continue to use the narcissist to supply them with their own need to feel devalued, but what they fail to realize is that the narcissist IS the reason they have that need. Once the narcissist is gone, you wonder what you got from them in the first place. Just because a person needs something doesn't mean what they need is good for them. A heroin addict needs heroin, but that doesn't mean heroin is healthy.

[gummynumberone]

@BlissfulMary what narc behaviour did he show?

[gummynumberone]

@MyLaura999 no i think they fesr v much being slone actually.but they cannot help theyre behaviour

[gummynumberone]

@slim240293 my fathers a narc.ruined my life.so shut the fuck up

[gummynumberone]

@MsCartman74 no ur wrong.i know many people who have stuck with them.especially sfter being de valued and put down so much,they feel they cant go anywhere else and r convinced theyre partner is now the best.altho they r extremely depressed in actual fact

[LuathHans]

Why would you want to love somebody who wont reciprocate?

[slim240293]

It's nothing respectable in being 'normal'. Sometimes, people who suffer from so called 'delusions' see things from a different perspective. It's funny how we always try to force someone into changing just because he/she doesn't fit in 'The Pattern'. We're trying to build a global nation full of robots who think, act, dress, talk the same way (normal people) ...

[MyLaura999]

The narcissist is usually not liked by many they meet. Their arogance around people make it very hard for them. The one I knew had no friends, even though he has many family members he was never invited to their homes. These empty souls go anywhere seeking for any kind of attention. Even if it is with strangers most of the time. They are doomed to live a very lonely life, and maybe they like it that way.