Sheldon, My Special Uncle

Sheldon Goldstein
as published in Hamodia
by Elana Horwitz
Raanana

My uncle, Sheldon Goldstein (Shmuel Leib ben Nosson v'Esther), was niftar on 26 Cheshvan, at the age of 66. Uncle Sheldon had Down Syndrome. In his lifetime, he managed to learn to care for himself, and care for others. He learned to travel, read and vote. He volunteered in the community and made many friends. We will always love him.

Sheldon was born in the Bronx, New York in 1942 to my grandparents, Esther and Nathan Goldstein, who were immigrants from Europe from before World War II.

With effort, Grandma Esther and Grandpa Nathan succeeding in meeting with several experts, all of whom advised them to place their baby, who was "Mongoloid" (he had Down Syndrome), in an institution, because they believed that he would never walk, talk or amount to anything. My grandmother did not feel comfortable with this advice. She told my grandfather, "These "chachamim" keep dogs as pets in their homes, but they tell us to give up our child. Don't go to them anymore. We will handle things in our own way." Grandma Esther invented her own therapies, devoting many hours to singing with my uncle, patiently explaining concepts and instructing her son in life skills. Sheldon was taught to speak respectfully to neighbors. As a little girl, I remember my Grandma Esther instructing him to say, "Hello, Mr. Fried. Good morning, Mrs. Schneider." Everyone loved this child, who was "a sick boy but so polite".

As my uncle grew older, he attended some sort of general "class for the mentally retarded" at the local public school. He was taught to read, write and travel on busses and trains. This training served him well when he got a job as a message deliverer. He also volunteered at a center that provided meals for senior citizens he set and cleared tables, and prepared coffee. People loved to have him around. He was caring, friendly and had a great sense of humor.

He was always provided with some pocket money. Sheldon enjoyed taking walks alone and choosing a can of soda or an ice cream. Not once was he cheated by a salesperson.

Miracles seemed to happen for him. As a toddler, he went missing in a bungalow colony. Everyone was frantic, asking, "Where's the baby, where's the baby?" He was found in the bull pen, with a gigantic bull and Sheldon just staring at each other. He also survived being hit by a car when he was seven. (The car accident made sense to him as an explanation for his being different from other people he would say, "That's why I am the way I am.")

Shmuel Leib was taught to say brachos for food, and the brachos for the Torah. His bar mitzvah was celebrated with much joy. He was always welcomed in shuls, occasionally being honored with some sort of aliyah. My grandparents would say, "We won't make him into a brilliant scholar, but we can make him into a mentch." And they did.

After both of his parents died, Sheldon went to live with his brother and sister-in-law, my parents Dr. Irwin and Carole Goldstein, in Queens, New York. When they made aliyah, so did he. In Israel, he won a well deserved award for his volunteer work at a secondhand shop. My father kept him busy and happy with activities such as a special needs bowling group, a reading review class and a day center. These social activities were arranged privately by my father (My mother passed away few years after making aliyah).

Around age 60, Sheldon began to experience gradual signs of mental and physical dementia a condition similar to Alzheimers that we learned affects people with Down Syndrome who live to an older age. Eventually, my father hired a foreign health care worker to live in his home and care for my uncle's needs. Hashem blessed us with an incredibly devoted aide from the Philippines.

My uncle finally succumbed to his health challenges. He died at home with his family, just as he always lived. My Uncle Sheldon brought together the esteemed Modern Orthodox Rabbi Daniel Beller of Raanana, and the renowned Chassidish Admor Mi'Cleveland / Clevelander Rebbe of Raanana, to say a hesped for him side by side at his funeral.

One thing the Clevelander said: We should all strive to enter and exit the world the way Shmuel Leib did without sin.

One thing Rabbi Beller said: Sheldon's life teaches us that the word "no" is only in the imagination.

I daven that Uncle Sheldon's life will inspire us to better the ways we relate to one another.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• down syndrome
• praying with lior
• child
• kids
• adult
• jewish
• isramom9
• isramom8
• irwin goldstein
• elana horwitz
• sheldon goldstein

[aaronlewisdarwen]

special little man (y)

[Fezandchippy]

thank you for sharing Sheldon looked like a class act

[carol3hawks]

Thank you for sharing Sheldon, story.

Angels are with these special humans...protecting them.

The bull knew his innocence and had no reason to fear this child.

[MiracleMileV8]

A very fitting tribute to one who had to overcome so much adversity. May your uncle Sheldon rest in everlasting peace and bliss. ;-)

[PriscillaHuffman]

this is extremely touching, a beautiful video, god bless your familly.

[Awesoome3]

very good video, you must miss your uncle alot :)

[GG1AnimalRunner]

i will have to agree with the other 3 coments :) such a great video!

[woofer32]

Good good people all of you.A touching memorial.

[449918]

Such a lovely tribute.

[deafk]

Aw, that's so sweet of you for making this video. How thoughtful of you.... Your Uncle Sheldon seemed to be a gentleman! =)