Entry 1: Who Am I?

Who am I? I wish I could answer that. But even if I tried, who knows what name I'd use. Its hard to know anymore in a world where each person emulates the one next to them. Where almost everyone is identical. As for the ones that aren't? We don't need names. Names are just labels. Precisely the thing we fight to get away from. Our fight to be who we are.

I was born "Jules" -- But that wasn't the first name my parents considered. There were plenty of others... They had nine months since the found out the contraceptive failed before the deadline. Among them was the name "Michelle"... A name my mother came to reject because it was too feminine... And she wouldn't want her son to endure the suffering of having a girl's name.

But there was a secret which she, my father, and the world didn't realize when I declared my independence from the Vaginal Canal. There was no son. Instead, a daughter, locked away and hidden inside that boy's heart. Waiting to be discovered.

So the child began to grow up; completely oblivious to the fact she was female... Well, except for the incidents. Those times she found herself wondering about the gender divide and where she truly belonged. She was told she was a boy so as far as she knew she was... But something didn't quite seem right.

The other boys taught her how to operate in the male fashion, how to think like a boy and act like a boy. And she was afraid. She was lost but couldn't say anything. Rule number one: boys hate girls. So she pretended to hate girls but didn't understand... For when she looked at them, what she saw wasn't evil -- but it was where she belonged.

Her heart knew she was a girl and belonged with them. But she was afraid. What would they think? What would the boys think? So she kept the boy façade until 2005. She was thirteen when she found the book entitled She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders by Jennifer Finney Boylan. Here was a book to answer her questions. Here was a book which might tell her who she was.

It was not until that year that the girl learned the word "transgender" and what it meant. People of one sex, but the gender of the opposite in their hearts and minds... That or of neither gender, or of countless other genders on an infinite spectrum. It was then that she understood was not alone in the world... That there were others. And even surgical ways of changing a person's sex. And then she knew.

Category:

People & Blogs

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• Transgender
• Transsexual
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[velocityeleven]

nice...

I first found out that there were others when I saw a TV programme when I was 10

[theroachyjay]

-nod-

I never watched enough TV..

[anglcdvlgl]

that's so motivating... i'll have to tell Kelsey to find this... she'll love it...

[theroachyjay]

Thanks

[BassGIG4u]

aww. that was very inspirational.. i think..

i dunno. but it was very nice =]

(and my brother is upside-down.. why?) haha =]

[theroachyjay]

He was on the inversion table. Thats what it does.

[justalyssa86]

My favorite so far :D

I wish I could like this a bajillion times moar.

[phoebe2k7]

Hand Selected Introduction For Professional Local Singles  (meetyourfling) c o m

houn

7825306

[BassGIG4u]

hm.. interesting..

[ceramufary]

Yaaaaaaay!!