[2/11] A Declaration of War

To whom it may concern:

It has come to my attention that you have recently re-branded your product. Apparently, the white band in the middle of your logo will now form a series of smiles: a smile for Pepsi, a grin for Diet Pepsi, and a laugh for Pepsi Max. Even more so than before, I want to have a Coke and smile.

Not only do the bottles themselves resemble flaccid penises, but also the labels, albeit aesthetically pleasing, do not make me want to consume your product. These obese, confused Nike swooshes pumped with millions of dollars in advertisements remove any classic charm your brand once had. If I wanted a sleek, modern beverage, I would go lick the freshly mopped floors of IKEA.

Please be aware that, as Youtube president, I will be initiating an anti-Pepsi campaign throughout the Youtube community unless you retract the aforementioned logos. You have made a terrible mistake, Pepsi. Consider this letter a declaration of war.


Cordially,

Eric Petri
President of Youtube

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• awesome
• complaint
• five
• galway
• hat
• ireland
• letter
• logo
• midwesterners
• neck
• new
• pepsi
• pillow
• rant
• shelby
• shleb
• week

[Ericrants]

@maxter480 did you not understand that this is a joke?

[interstate44]

You don't get out much do you?!!!! Too wrapped up in your shut-in internet world!!!

[juniorc001]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[maxter480]

Oh no, i'm sure pepsi is terrified..

[saph2104]

@wolverinex8 Yeah, it's pretty good.

[optimusprimus1971]

What the hell are you going on about ????????????? WTF does this have to do with Pepsi....Stay in Ireland ...

[apck8]

suck a pepsi bottle like a cock you tuby whore

[rtrxggg]

Aww she didn't even turn it upside down and try to point out that pepsi upside down says "isded".

[raspymorten]

...waht aiti pepis...l am not subing to you.....no...no...no no no no

[kurtandblaine4ever]

Coke is just as bad for you as pepsi.