Tears Of Pain & Despair After ED Appointment / Assessment

Sorry the sound is so bad - I wasn't even sure if I was going to make this into a video. I started off just talking/mumbling to myself, really.
I just felt so bad after my appointment that I had to do *something* to stop me from self destructing.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• Anorexia
• Sadness
• Despair
• Pain
• Crying
• Tears
• Assessments
• Appointment
• Dissapointment
• Hopelessness
• Mental Agony
• Judgement
• Failure
• Untreatable
• Complex Cases
• Dual Diagnosis
• BPD
• Self Injury
• Abusing Medication
• Illegal
• Shame
• Guilt
• Laxative Abuse
• Feeling Misunderstood

[painfulsoulbleeding]

Thank you for all the sweet comments. I still feel so amazed that people are so kind. I guess I'm just used to the voices/ thoughts in my head being so constantly insulting, negative, judgemental, self loathing, etc, etc... I'm always extremely grateful and surprised when I realise that people don't see me the way I see myself.

THANK YOU HUGS to everyone!

Claire

xxx

[gavinjennifer]

i suffer from bpd, substance abuse, anorexia, excessive laxative taking, depression...i feel like you are a mirror image of me..your videos are helping me..i hate myself so much..i self harm all the time and cant stop..i thought you could look into a specialised hospital for complex cases Cygnet Hospital Ealing. I coming from Ireland to go there.

[painfulsoulbleeding]

I looked up the hospital you suggested, and gave the address to my psychotherapist last week. There are several Cygnet Hospitals in England. I'm hoping I get funding. Have you already got your funding? When do you start your treatment? Please keep in touch and let me know how it goes.

I'm so sorry you feel I'm a mirror image of yourself. I hate to think of anyone else living this agonizing existance. Please let me know if I can help in any way...

Hugs,

Claire

xxx

[MisTreeeGirl]

Hit me up on Facebook I can help. Aprile plummer. Keep your head up! We're all one! We are all experiencing this together. Nothing is wrong with you. It's just the establishment trying to tell you that because something is wrong with it! We are going through Ascension symptoms . I talk about this in my book. I became an Author because I wanted people to know what they are going through. Spirituality! One love chica!! Namaste!!! Awakening as one...

[RhythmDroid]

The very center, the untouchable essence of you is unconditionally loved & totally accepted. You are fighting strong forces. Keep fighting. You WILL win and learn to feel happiness & self-acceptance. I seriously encourage you to fight even harder by CHANGING your YT name to a more positive one. Yes, it's important to BE aware of your challenges, but do this small but meaningful change to STOP the constant reminder of your difficulties. Don't become addicted to feelings of helplessness/self-pity.

[lostlittlegirlygirl]

i feel for u so much claire...like the absolute shock and numbness yet you are still in so much pain beyond belief...its like its the end.....:(:((But its NOT it just FEELS like it)and there is nothing worse...

[misstiggykins]

I was sure I commented on this video??? Just to let you know that I care and I am always here to chat to if you need to...

Love

Cathy

xxx

[jaded80]

I went for an assessment just recently.I have a few issues..I have borderline personality disorder and a ED and self harm....and I had to talk about all of that..and if people are gonna judge ya, you cant let it get you down. I have had people judge me, or leave me in relationships.I saw you cry in this video and it reminded me of myself....Im 33.....and Ive been depressed almost all my life.....be strong hun....ur beautiful and ur videos are helping others. And if you need to talk Im here. xx

[CinnamonPhoenix]

p.s you may have already seen them but thursday's WeRFreEDomFighters videos were on this exact topic and were very helpful... maybe you'll find a little hope there...

take care ok

xxx

[CinnamonPhoenix]

i hate seeing you so discouraged and sad, you're worth so much more... so keep fighting... i'm thinking of you, sending hugs and all my love, take care xxx

[CinnamonPhoenix]

it's not fair that it's such a struggle for you to get help when you need it so badly, and i really feel for you, but i don't for one minute believe you're a lost cause... i see such strength in you and truly believe you can and will get through this... i wouldn't say so if i didn't mean it, i just wish that you'd believe it too...