The Vasectomy Song- John Williamson

Funny song by Australian folk singer John Williamson, from live gig in '83. Lyrics below, enjoy!


It's just a modern world we live in, but why do they pick on me
Why just the other week my missus had the cheek to talk me into a va-sec-tom-y
At first it never clicked that I was gettin' nicked, I thought it was to test verility
Than after I went through it, ten days we couldn't do it and then the doctor said to me I couldn't believe it folks - He said please blow into this bag, please sir
What? - to test your capability
I beg your pardon? - we're cutting down on accidents
I said are you fair dinkum - He said please blow into this bag and we'll see Well - I couldn't believe it at first but you know what they say about doctors orders
So he gave me the little bag and ushered me into the little room with all the pin-ups
Grubby little room it was, too, and I came back with my little bag
And the doctor was quite satisfied, and so was I It's just a modern world we live in, there's knew fangled things every day
The cop said I was speedin', accordin' to his readin'
But I was three kilometers away
I was feelin' pretty mad when he took out his pad, I tried to stay as calm as I could be
He found a bawldy tread, he saw my eyes were red
And then he said this strange thing to me - I said what again? He said please blow into this bag, please sir
I said hang on - to test your capability
What? - we're cutting down on accidents
I said are you fair dinkum - He said please blow into this bag and we'll see Well this time I really was shaken up, the cop could see I was a bit excited
He said well you better take a good grip on yourself son
So I went around behind a big gum tree and came back with my little bag
Well you can imagine what happened It's just a modern world we live in, I'm feelin' very sad and pale
The judge said I was sick and threw me in the nick
And missus said she wouldn't pay the bail
So take it from a fool like me, beware of quacks and boys in blue
I'm feelin' pretty bruised so don't you get confused
I'd catch a train if I was you-ou All together now - please blow into this bag, please sir
Ahh, It sends a shiver down my spine
Please blow into this bag, please sir
If the women don't get you, it's the wine

Category:

Sports

Tags:

• John Williamson
• Vasectomy song
• Australia
• funny

[thomnbid]

c'mon on aussie c'mon c'mon

[mosquewatcher]

Love the Aussies !

[taylorguitars865]

I really like John Williamson until I heard this song....now I'm pretty put off him.

[verticalsmurf]

@midgerm Fair enough, you're way too young for a vasectomy.

[midgerm]

@verticalsmurf not yet, i dont really know what to type, and it hasent really been on the top of my "inportant shit to do" list

[verticalsmurf]

@midgerm - Figured it out yet?

[midgerm]

@verticalsmurf very well

[verticalsmurf]

@midgerm Sweetie, you are 18 and you have access to the internet. I think your parents think you already know. Google things. Have fun.

[midgerm]

what dose it mean blow into this bagg?

what dose that mean?

my parents havent told me yet and im 18

anyone know what it is?

is it where you....Donate sperm?

or do you just breath into a bagg?

[erikals2]

I remember this from years ago when I was little at my grandparent's house - they played this song without realising I was pretending to be asleep in the corner - great education for a young man it was too!

[mdog978]

How Ironic...69 likes

[mollymitch1]

@weirdest2010 Probably a wowser who can't see a good comedy song when it falls over him