2010 State Of The Fractured Union address

The other day, I was watching Obama's "State Of The Union" address, but it seems Fox News had edited the speech during the broadcast! I've never known the President to speak this way before!

Pardon me, I misspoke. What I meant to say was, I heard the broadcast, tired of the slickly-delivered pablum, and decided to take matters into my own hands, and reveal what Obama really meant to say.

I'm just kidding, of course. I very laboriously read the transcript, found lots of phrases that could be taken out of context, and reassembled the heck out of them to make Obama say some outlandish things! For good measure, I quickly wrote a song to fill in the background. My work doesn't rise to the level of the Emergency Broadcast Network, or the Evolution Control Committee, but what the heck, I have to start somewhere. Enjoy!

Here is the transcript:

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Madame Speaker, the President of the United States!
Our Constitution declares that from time to time, the President shall give to Congress information about the state of our union. I thought I'd get some applause on that one.
And tonight, I'd like to talk about divisions and disagreements...a perpetual campaign...the numbing weight of our politics. The devastation remains.
Some are frustrated; some are angry. You know what else they share? Not a single dime. Even those that are making a profit. I know who's to blame for this.
Throughout our history, no issue has united this country more than big bonuses for more than 18 million Americans of over $1 trillion. Let's take that money! I am absolutely convinced that was the right thing to do. But we can't stop there.
To recover the rest, I have proposed a housing bubble and financial speculation...the same recklessness that nearly brought a second depression.
Look, I am not interested in a strong, healthy financial market. We should just put things on hold for a while.
That's why we're nearly doubling the burden on middle-class families, to get some legislative victory under my belt. I know you can't wait.
The steps we took last year to shore up the unwarranted taxpayer subsidies that go to rewarding failure is just one of the burdens facing the middle class.
Our most urgent task upon taking office was to damage our markets, increase the cost of borrowing, and jeopardize our recovery. All this was before I walked in the door.
It's tempting to make fewer investments in our people, extend tax cuts including those for wealthier Americans, where the only goal is the same recklessness that nearly brought down our entire economy.
Tax cuts for oil companies, for investment fund managers, and those making over $250,000 a year, will not be affected. No wonder there's so much disappointment.
Because of the steps we took, there are about two million Americans asking why they have to move from their slum. So we acted -- immediately and aggressively. A novel concept. I take my share of the blame for not explaining it more clearly to the American people.
Sadly, addressing our larger challenges is too ambitious. And we cannot do it again. And by now it should be fairly obvious that I didn't address the deficit or freeze government spending. That, too, is a fact. None of these reforms will even happen. How long should we wait? No wonder there's so much cynicism out there.
That's why last year I asked Vice President Biden to chair a task force on unacceptable gaps revealed by the 8-year-old boy in Louisiana, sowing further division among our citizens and further distrust in government. It was about as popular as a root canal.
[... too long ...]
We have made substantial investments in the interstate highway system to all fifty-seven states. Just stating the facts.
American elections should be bankrolled by a modest fee...most of the money we spent on the world's cheapest investment in basic research funding. That's how budgeting works.
There are stories like this all across America who've been denied, but I wake up every day knowing that they are nothing.
I supported the last administration for eight years, the schoolyard taunts, no matter how false, no matter how malicious, because it was good politics. I urge the Senate to do the same.
And the idea here is simple: run for the hills.
Bye!

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Done entirely using open-source software! Thanks to Kino for video editing, Audacity for audio editing, Rosegarden for MIDI authoring, Timidity++ and PersonalCopy-lite for MIDI playback, ffmpeg for audio/video encoding, mjpegtools for video processing and encoding, and Fedora Core Linux for everything. May the Source be with you!

Category:

Comedy

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[JordeeVee]

This video is proof that only democrats are good at being creative or funny.

[ulatekh]

@JordeeVee : Your comment is proof that you don't leave the house much.

[OnnaMishun]

ROFLMAO!.....A brilliant way to finally get the truth out of Obama!

[Berlin1811]

Excellent job.

[silverseed777]

Oh this is funny,..love it,!