survivor's syndrome

i'll eat, i'll eat, i'll eat tonight, but i sure as hell won't drink.
it's been far too long for me to do that; i just need some time to think.
i can't finish a meal anymore, and i know that isn't right.
it must be indicative of something more than just a lack of appetite.
so instead i'll sit at home and hope i go blind, and i hope it happens soon
so i don't have to watch my impending doom.
and i hope i may be lucky enough to go deaf as well
so i don't hear the whole damned world going to hell.
and the added bonus to all of this is i won't hear the stupid shit i am sure to say,
or watch you or anyone else as you turn to walk away.
and i may as well hope that when i wake up, i'm struck unable to speak
or that my throat closes right up when i try to breathe.
and maybe the pressure i feel in my chest when my heart beats is a concern,
or maybe just a lesson someone thinks i should learn.
that through my veins pumps too much love or life or maybe just blood,
or i ascribe something to nothing too much.
what i guess i'm trying to say, though i'm taking the long way around,
is i just can't wait to be underground.
but when my time finally comes to go, i hope i go slow,
so i can say what i must to those who must know.

sorry the guitar's so quiet on this one. it's what happens when i play without a pick.

not much else to say.

thanks for coming.

see you soon.
josh.
xo.

Category:

Music

Tags:

• survivor's
• syndrome
• josh
• mordecai
• rochester
• ny