Backstage Blues//Episode 14: Helplessness

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Gradually lighting up a cigarrette, Paul's despair diminished to some extent. Having just vented every bit of frustration contained within for the last days was of little help. Distress remained all the same. He was an insensitive scum, that is what he was. "No you're not", Mick broke into his hushed stance. "I mean you are, you were on this ocassion, but you're not a scum in essence." "That doesn't justify what I did. I hurt someone's feelings and so I understand her anger towards me, I earned it. It pains me, but it's fully deserved for my cowardice." Was he ever guilty of his actions. Knowing he caused much anguish bothered him greatly despite his habitually careless nature. Mick must have noticed this for he inquired: "Do you regret everything that happened? Meeting her, courting her...?" "Not at all", was Paul's earnest answer. "I'll never regret or deny everything we lived together. I just wish she would've never learned the truth." "You were actually thinking of carrying on with it? What about..." "No, don't even mention her. It's enough having to endure her constant questioning almost every day." "...She knows? Please don't tell me you confessed." "There was no need to confess, she figured it out on her own. Apparently she'd been observing me lately and speculated I looked different, not like my normal self. Then one day she looked at me and said 'Something happened in America, am I right? Something you dare not say.' The more I denied it, the more chaffed she got until she finally guessed and explained 'You slept with someone, that was it.' No matter how many times I said it wasn't true, she kept reassuring it and calling me an arsehole for cheating on her. And she's right, I hurt two persons most deeply..." "Two persons? Don't you mean three?" Paul was dumbfounded. "Three persons?" "You forgot Damon. You took Melissa away from him after all." "Now hold on..." "Come on, technically it's what you did. She was with him if not in a relationship, at least in some sort of romance, and you simply barged in with not a care of the consequences." "You picture me like a self-centered prick." "I'm just saying you only focused on her and you, nothing more. You're not the first one doing it and certainly not the last." "Do you think he already knows?" "No idea but for your sake and Melissa's, pray he doesn't. I can't imagine what could come about if he finds out, knowing him." Panic replaced his former thoughts. He ignored if Melissa had spoken to Damon since their return from America but if so, has she told him the truth? Have guilt and anger made her divulge their sin? "Don't tell him dearest, please don't. I hope you haven't. I don't care about me, I care about you, 'cause you may not be able to handle it..."

Rest of description here: http://munecadeojostristes.blogspot.com/2011/10/episode-14-helplessness.html

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• paul simonon
• mick jones
• jamie hewlett
• damon albarn
• anna paquin
• susana zabaleta