(A Biologist's) St. Patrick's Day Song

I'm resurrecting this nerdy drinking song from last year... As many of you perceptive viewers noticed there were a couple alcohol-induced scientific errors in my last version of this song (gold star, perceptive viewers!) -- so I thought this St. Patrick's day would be a perfect time to correct them.

Lyrics:
In the year of our lord eighteen hundred and eleven
On March the seventeenth day
I will raise up a beer and I'll raise up a cheer
For Saccharomyces cerevisiae
Here's to brewers yeast, that humblest of all beasts
Producing carbon gas reducing acetaldehyde
But my friends that isn't all -- it makes ethyl alcohol
That is what the yeast excretes and that's what we imbibe

Anaerobic isolation
Alcoholic fermentation
NADH oxidation
Give me a beer

[CHORUS]

My intestinal wall absorbs that ethanol
And soon it passes through my blood-brain barrier
There's a girl in the next seat who I didn't think that sweet
But after a few drinks I want to marry her
I guess it's not surprising, my dopamine is rising
And my glutamate receptors are all shot
I'd surely be bemoaning all the extra serotonin
But my judgment is impaired and my confidence is not

Allosteric modulation
No Long Term Potentiation
Hastens my inebriation
Give me a beer

[CHORUS]

When ethanol is in me, some shows up in my kidneys
And inhibits vasopressin by degrees
A decrease in aquaporins hinders water re-absorption
And pretty soon I really have to pee
Well my liver breaks it down so my body can rebound
By my store of glycogen is soon depleted
And tomorrow when I'm sober I will also be hungover
Cause I flushed electrolytes that my nerves and muscles needed

Diuretic activation
Urination urination
Urination dehydration
Give me a beer

[CHORUS]

CHORDS

Intro:
D DAG / bm A
D D A G / bm A G D
G D A G / G D G A
G D A bm / G D A D

Pre - chorus:
G D A bm / G D A

Chorus (Li-Diddly-I):
G D A bm A
G D A D

Verse:
D DAG / Bm A
D D A G / Bm A G D
G D A G / bm A
G D A bm / G D A D

• Category

  Music

[ohbandersnatch]

The world needs more people like you!!

[phdan123]

People don't like well-written songs about intelligent subject matter

[groovyastrodude]

Although Tom Lehrer showed that it's very possible to be horrendously non-PC and incredibly witty so long as you superficially cater to the prevailing musical attitudes of the time.

[MelodiousDissonance]

too drunk to comment properly so 'll just put this here <3

[bing0able]

My AP bio test is tomorrow and this is the best part of my study session. Thank you, you are a genius its quite informative and at the same time funny and it reminds me that celebrating after i pass this will be fun

[weyrcat]

Brilliant!

[katgurl504]

This was brilliant!

[M.R. Weaver]

I thought this was going to be dumb, but then it was amazing and incredibly informative!

[Hunter Richardson]

No thanks. Sounds painful.

[raahr]

Flashback to college at a large State University. This looks exactly like my college roommate, a dorky white dude with a peculiar laugh and a fro. freakishly simliarly so. These graphs are straight out of my premed classes. I'm seriously tripping right now.

[underyourbreath331]

True story, but if I could throw my 99 cents at him.. bitch, I would make it HAIL!