"Jesus Vs. The Hypno Toad" by Old Fart Rants

BREAKING NEWS: Samaritan Ministries made changes to their advertising. See my latest video for details: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVwJnDUeqv4
While I was back East over the holidays I stayed at my childhood home with no phone, no cable TV, and no computer or Internet, and I realized why people who live that way don't know anything. I was bored to death, so I read whatever magazines were laying around and I found this - a copy of the American Family Association Journal. I stopped on page 8 when I saw this ad from a Christian group called Samaritan Ministries. There's still health care for people of faith after health care reform. Gee, I'm starting to think Samaritan Ministries has some kind of political agenda. Now if you follow my videos you already know how I feel about religion -- for me to see something like this is like waving a red flag in front of a bull! So I called Samaritan Ministries to discuss some of the problems with this ad. Lying hypocrites like this need to be called out. If any of you have questions about Samaritan Ministries I wouldn't blame anybody for giving them a call like I did. Their phone number is right there in the ad: 888-268-4377 It's bad enough we have to put up with ignorant people who still subscribe to Bronze Age nonsense! But we're expected to show them respect, and give them special privileges just because they're delusional, or liars, or both? I don't think so!

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[samtech79]

I do not except your Hypno Toad as my god... Heathen!

It is time for you to bow down to the only true God! All Hail the mighty and tasty Flying Spaghetti Monster! In his name we pray, Ramen.



[oldfartrants]

@samtech79 Maybe there's a holy trinity - the Hypno Toad, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and Godfather's Pizza? Best to play it safe ;))

[samtech79]

@oldfartrants Ah, you must be thinking of the holywheat scripture; Crockpot, 1;37;

And thy all mighty Hypno Toad tookith its form from thy mighty meatballs dripith. Thy holy tadpole, thy holy essence of thy juicy meatballs eternal union with thy delicious and filling God-fathers pizza with thy mighty sausage and extra cheese! Bow down for thy tadpole,son of the’ holiness, walks thy earth with all ye mortal sinners. Oil thy mighty Hypno Toad, and stroke him mightily and all shall be forgiven.

[oldfartrants]

@samtech79 Croak, Ramen, and pass the parmesan!

[nhstategop]

YOURE BACK! ALRIGHT!

Where is this east coast home you were raised? Is it in New England?

[oldfartrants]

@nhstategop I grew up and went to college in the South, with bigots, racists, and Bible thumpers. A little insight on why I think the way I do ;)

[elsol98]

Does religion make people stupid or stupid people follow religion?.....

[wendsdaybeats]

Well atleast I can actually talk to my cat

[Halloween111]

Once Abrahamic traditions swept through the ancient world all the previous learning was largely destroyed in the burning of Libraries in Alexandria and other places. Things like tooth pain became demonic plague and antiseptic practices unheard of. As A result, George Washington was forced to use ill fitting false teeth of wood and ivory. Had he lived in ancient Egypt he could have gotten his teeth fixed. Another Kudo To Christianity. Enemy even of the teeth

[Halloween111]

Minor Correction. In Egypt, Before The Abrahamic (Judaism, Islam, And Christianity) Medical procedures were being advanced. Some surgury and setting of bones was practiced to great effect (Though I shudder at the tools and anasthetics used) Even brain surgury was being developed Known by the discovery of mummies with surgical wounds to the cranium that had actually begun to heal. Honey was found to be an antibiotic and dentistry practiced with similar tools to today and gold as filling.

[EatMAndSml]

Rip em up dude!

[TheSaturnalia]

Abortion did exist back then. There are indeed herbs that will induce labour, and the ancient medicines did cure some things. Modern medicine makes it more likely that a woman who has a Caesarian (sp) to deliver them of a baby would survive, but the procedure was named after the most famous person who was born in that manner. Julius, the first emperor of Rome. :)

[TheOptimistiCynic]

@elsol98 I had a funny comment to make but don't want to offend the religious(Forest Gump came to mind). In all seriousness, I wouldn't call most religious people stupid but just ignorant. However, there are a lot of the religious followers that just ignore the facts, which in my interpretation of the definition, qualifies them as stupid.

[itldo72]

I forgot:: BEHOLD the ALMIGHTY HYPNO-TOAD!!

[itldo72]

Hey Old Fart! How ya doin? I don't follow Ron Paul much cause I try real hard to ignore politics.

You are no doubt one of the greatest thinkers of our time! May you stay healthy and busy; doing rants thru a "vidscope" when you're 99 y/o. Is it cool to throw up the peace sign when you come on??? JL

[Sumfera]

The term "unbiblical" is a bit ambiguous. As you say, it could refer to anything that isn't mentioned in the bible. However, it could also refer to "morally wrong according to the bible" in the sense of killing life. They need to edit that ad some more.

[707hoser]

Of course, they never had heart bypass operations or a hundred other procedures in biblical times. Does that mean we shouldn't have them?