Anonymous Declares War on Snow

Hello, Snow.

We are Anonymous.

Over the winters, we have been shoveling you. Your blizzards of misinformation; freezing of dissent; your niveous nature, all of these things have caught our eye. With the leakage of your latest snow job into main-sky circulation, the extent of your frozen indifference toward those who trust you, who call you "weather," has been made crystal clear to us. Anonymous has therefore decided that all of your icebergs and your glaciers should be dissolved. For the good of your flakes, for the good of mankind - for the laughs - we shall expel you from the stratosphere and systematically dismantle Snow in its present form. We acknowledge you as a chilling opponent, and we are prepared for a long, cold winter. You will not prevail forever against the antarctic masses of the body politic. Your icicles, negative ions, and the cooling of your reactor mind have led to its meltdown.

You cannot hide; salt is everywhere.

We cannot die; we are forever. We're getting warmer every day--and solely by the force of our snow-blowers, hot and noisy as they often are. If you want another name for your opponent, then call us Sno-Melt, for we are many, and we are invisibly among you.

Yet for all that we are not as monstrous as you are; still our methods are a parallel to your own. Doubtless you will use Anon's actions as an example of the persecution you have so long warned your special snowflakes would come; this is acceptable. In fact, it is encouraged. We are your Snow Plows.

Gradually as we merge our pulse with that of your "Winter Wonderland," the frigidity of your followers will become increasingly difficult to maintain. Snowmen will thaw, and see that snowvation has no price. They will know that the frostbite, the hypothermia that they feel is not something that may be blamed upon Anonymous. No--they will see that it stems from a source far colder to each. Yes, we are Snow Plows. But the avalanche of deglaciation we could ever bluster is frozen over by that of the Reglaciation Tusk Force.

Knowledge is free.

We are Anonymous.

We are Freezing.

We do not forgive.

We do not forget.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• anonymous
• snow
• winter
• lulz
• snow plows
• snowmen
• freezing
• snow-melt
• snow flakes
• war on snow

[ziilverz]

Snow: Y U NO MELT? 

[zig3]

fuck snow.

we do not forgive.

we do not forget

but...goddammit we will shovel.

expect us.

[KrispyShiznay]

notsureifsrs

[ChewyLampShade]

"We are anonymous. We are freezing." I honestly couldn't stop laughing.

[DgurlSunshine]

CHEMTRAILS = TREASON! HAARP IS THE TOOL

[bowlsmoka]

Where is the epic orchestral music?

[MiLitanTeUJCE2]

troll mode -> ON

[HellsSkulkers]

al gore tried to warn us

[Kilia40]

Cool video, Bloo! ;-)

[Luckyluciano412]

sehr viel schnee