I'm enjoying my hatred so much more.

The monologue here is an excerpt from Janet Finch's "White Oleander". If you are familiar with the book and you realise this video is not how you recall it, or bares no similarity - I know, don't fret.

I took the prose, but reworked the characterisation and the stylistic elements to make my own spawn, if you will. A jaded and disillusioned spawn.

"I'm enjoying my hatred so much more than I ever enjoyed love. Love is temperamental. Tiring. it makes demands. Love uses you. Changes its mind. But hatred. Now, that's something you can use. Sculpt. Wield. It's hot or soft, however you need it. Love humiliates you, but hatred. Hatred cradles you."

Royalty free music: "I knew A Guy" from the amazing Kevin Macleod of http://www.incompetech.com

For all ye olde watchers, I know this isn't like my usual stuff. Frankly, I don't know what my "usual" stuff is anymore, on account of huge absences from the 'tubes and long lapses between videos. But I felt inspired to make this, and who am I to deny an exercise in creativity from running its course.

Anyhow, Happy 2010. I really would like to get back into video making on a severely constant basis. Wish you all have had fantastic starts to your New Year, and that this year brings you all stability, creativity and happiness.

Fresh starts, guys. Let's get acquainted! babyporridge@gmail.com for hate mail, spam and free porn subscriptions.

blog: http://www.babyporridge.blogspot.com
myspace: http://www.myspace.com/nikkimalvar
twitter: http://www.twitter.com/babyporridge

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• babyporridge
• nikki
• malvar
• white
• oleander
• janet
• fitch
• noir
• prose
• disillusioned
• lover

[Coffeeaddict101]

I love love love LOVE this video.

You looked gorgeous

and although i don't know the book, so I don't know how it's a new characterisation I thought it was great.

I'm now really curious about the book.

[babyporridge]

Thanks darling, sweet of you (:

I highly recommend the book - amazing prose, great content & intriguing chain of events, etc.

Yeah, I just stole a quote and made some noir murderesses out of it... that wasn't in the original novel! :P

[blountation]

Pleasure to have you back, Ms. Nikki. Youtube has become a bit bland and colourless. Lucky your B&W video is here to add some colour. Keep it up. Please?

[babyporridge]

Thank you, Angus. That's mighty kind of you. I'll try my best... to add [monochrome] colour to this part of the 'nets ;)

Lovely Bon Iver cover by the by! (:

[0745am]

Great video. I don't know why but you and knives go well together.

[babyporridge]

I like this compliment. I like it a lot. I love me some knives. Thank you!

[jabazzy]

Cradle me forever, mistress. I'm a slave to your love.

Fantastic video!

[disneykid1]

LOVE THIS. FAVED.

i miss you nikki.

[starwave1967]

hi nikki, please take care with the alcohol. you are way to tallented and inteligent to burn it all out

[vickiormindyb]

You look like you're 25 in this video.

[mickeybabbe1]

You make me Mad! Really mad. I am madl........with you, and you keep me smoking on the back burner. Smoldering in fact. Oh how you make me

[vkgiotis]

nice artistic video, perhaps if you held the glass in your other had it would not obscure your so much expression

[vickiormindyb]

I bet AngryAussie would like the end of the video, when you go get a knife. : D

[Stuemke]

<3 Lovely.

[perfectlittlelife]

I love monologues! Great job. :)

[starwave1967]

i like the way you gave him the eye ate the end. i hope he has seen this vid. but remember, we grow from our hurt and pain. you will soon be able to look back on your experience as a period of learning with gratitude. hate will soon dissolve and an emotional strength and wisdom blossom

[Spideyheal]

liked it.. and u gain weight ^.^

[starwave1967]

that was great. for me it took a few years to realize that love can work well when we see past the wow factor, or honey moon period.