Eugene Mirman 2009 LHS Commencement Speech

Eugene Mirman's commencement speech for the 2009 Lexington High School graduating class at the Tsongas Arena.

• Category

  Comedy

[jakespick]

"...and drink. Just kidding, you're only mature enough to shoot our enemies in the face."

I bet some of the parents shit their pants.

[Eugene Mirman]

Hey Howard Roark! What's up? Sorry your perfect building was ruined by misguided altruists. That sucks.

[BigExtc]

Dude not fair, not fair at all! I graduate from Tyngsboro High in 08, which is like 20 minutes from the Tsongas. These lucky bastards in Lexington got you to speak for them? I'm the most jealous person in the land. That would have been unforgetable

[jbhthe4]

Haha. Only mature enough to shoot out enemy's in the face

[myfragilesin]

Winchester High School's graduation is on a fucking field and Lexington High gets the fucking Tsongas?! Bullshit.

[JimShooks]

highschool life reminiscing..

[DKbridge100]

I was a mirman fan way before I found out he attended my high school and middleschool, but this makes him even cooler!!!!

[PorkchopLSX]

16 people are so depressed that not even good comedy could scratch a dent in their misery...teehee! Sorry you didn't make commencement and have the GED alternative instead...'good enough diploma' for the Mike Tyson followers :-p

[jlhguitar]

Looks like 16 people failed, then barely passed, and then went nowhere in life.

[malaciousmarty]

because being featured on comedy central multiple times is failing. right?

[acehole7]

"on behalf on generations before were really really sorry we made some oopsies" so true