Joran van der Sloot: The Song

IN ARUBA WHERE THE WEALTHY GO TO PLAY
HE MET A SOUTHERN GIRL NAMED HOLLOWAY
BUT THEY NEVER HEARD FROM HER AGAIN
I GUESS SHE LIKES DUTCH MEN
HE'S A MAN OF ILL-REPUTE
A MAN CALLED JORAN VAN DER SLOOT

HE SAID I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY PUT HER BODY
BUT SHE OWES ME FOR AN 8-BALL AND SOME BACARDI
HE SAID I DIDN'T KILL THAT CHICK
OR, MAYBE I DID
HE'S A PLAYBOY AND A BRUTE
HE'S JORAN VAN DER SLOOT

HE TURNED UP AT AN OLD LIMA CASINO
HE MET A LOCAL GIRL, A FINE LATINA
BUT THE SCANDY GOT TOO RANDY
AND HE HAD SOME VALIUM HANDY
NOW THE COPS ARE IN PURSUIT
OF JORAN VAN DER SLOOT

SO IF YOU MEET HIM IN PERU
HERE'S ONE THING YOU SHOULDN'T DO:
TUG ON THE SKIN FLUTE
OF JORAN VAN DER SLOOT.

WELL HE'S HORNIER THAN CHARLIE SHEEN
AND HE DANCES JUST LIKE BEN VEREERN
BUT HE KILLS LIKE SHECKY GREENE
HE'S JORAN VAN DER SLOOT

HE'S A FOUR-NAMED DANISH VILLIAN
AND HE'S KEEN TO DO SOME KILLIN'
IT'S HARD TO JUST STAY MUTE
ON THE TOPIC OF JORAN VAN DER SLOOT

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Joran
• Sloot
• Van
• Der
• Joren Van Der Sloot
• Parody
• Joran van der Sloot
• joran song
• Peru
• Aruba
• killer
• Natalee
• Holloway
• arrest
• Chile

[princessbelle04]

what a creep and cold hearted person he is. how can someone have it in there heart to kill someone and take there life away. only god has that right and no one should try to take it into their hands.god bless the family and friends of those killed.

[prinsesje888]

this is a sick creature on our earth,if you look at his face theres something creepy about him.he is a creep a complete lunatic,Yes he is from holland and so do I,but we are ashamed he is from our country.Lock this idiot up for a life sentence please!!!! lindsey

[eagleofmiami]

Peru does not have a death sentence. But Mr. Van der Sloot is gonna wish they did the only hope for him now is to catch the Midnight Express.

[bigbadbronco86]

@ksuhuh and further more how do you know he isnt just like all the other psychopaths, statistics prove most serial killers follow patterns, and like to keep trophies, maybe he di it again just to prove he could, he isnt very bright so it seems completely possible to me. and fuck you for standing up for this lousy no good rotten salami smuggling bitch

[bigbadbronco86]

@ksuhuh who gives a fuck about any of that conspiracy shit this sorry mother fucker admitted to doing it all so your conspiracy doesnt hold much water, and on top of that who gives two shits or a fuck about how to pronounce his name, i think from onw on we all just call him a dirty fat grease ball low life piece of shit garbage thats not even worthy of living his life out in the dump, how close is that to pronouncing it right?

[SiriusCanis4Dogz]

Hey songwritingfolkloreplayingmusi­cperson for the record

Joran van der sloot is fucking Dutch and NOT Danish we don’t grow sick people like him…

Anyway Cool song!

[ksuhuh]

LOL Fucking hilarious, but actually van der sloot is pronounced vAn (as in bAll) der

SlOOt (as in gOAt) so you got a whole new set of rhyme words for the next song! ;)

I still say this whole peru thing is probably due to a favour the Bushes owed the Holloways executed via cia black ops. I mean, who the fuck kills someone with a tennis racket in their own room, exactly 5 years after nataly? He might be a dumbass, but not completely retarded. But heck you never know huh?