3. Canine Stew (Original)

Recently two men were jailed in Hong Kong for eating dog meat. We were in mainland China at the time, where dog meat is freely available. Obviously a case of One country; Two menus. I just had to write a song about it.

To hear this track from my CD, "Pigs Might Fly", go to:

http://us.share.geocities.com/raymondsongs/CanineStew.mp3

Lyrics:

My friend and I had something
That we wished to celebrate.
The dogs that we'd been fattening up
Finally met their fate.
We made a delicious canine stew
And served it on a plate
And enjoyed each other's company
As we sat and drank and ate.

...Now I'm in the jailhouse doing time.
...Since when did eating meat become a crime?

Where I come from there's lots of dogs
That people raise to sell.
You can buy them in a pet shop
Or a butcher's shop as well.
A tasty meal or man's best friend,
It's very hard to tell.
You eat your Christmas turkey,
While I suffer in my cell.

You see their carcasses hanging up
In shops along the street.
My elders always taught me
This is such a healthy meat,
Especially in the winter time.
It gives our body heat,
So why should you deny me
What I really need to eat?

You've got laws that don't allow me
To light up a cigarette.
Now you say I can't eat anything
That others call a pet.
I keep pet fish, but fish-eaters
Will not be jailed, I bet,
And I don't believe that dogs
Are an endangered species yet!

I'm not consuming bear bile,
Or munching on their paws.
You told me "Don't eat shark fin."
I converted to the cause.
I can't afford it anyway.
And I can't afford your laws.
Please keep out of my diet --
And I'll keep out of yours.

This song is on my fourth CD: "PIGS MIGHT FLY and Other Politically Incorrect Ballads."

You can hear a playlist of my original songs (in alphabetical order) here:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=B9F8E3B7A8822951

An article about eating dog:
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/11/dogs-vs-pigs-why...

Category:

Music

Tags:

• folk
• song
• humour
• political
• correctness
• cultural
• differences
• dogs
• china
• hong
• kong

[sega31098]

Dogs are carnivores. Consumption of carnivores can cause bad effects due to bioamplification overtime. This is why we do not eat dogs. Also why we never ever eat lions and tigers.

[raymondcrooke]

@sega31098 Who are "we"? A considerable proportion of the world's population have in fact eaten dogs for thousands of years. This will eventually change as more and more Chinese adopt the Western custom of pet ownership, but it will be hard to convince traditionalists of the "bad effects" of consuming something they have have always regarded as health food.

[brewerkid]

I love dogs, and I think this song is just hilarious. Wonderful creativity.

[raymondcrooke]

A lot of Chinese like dogs too ... but it depends how they're cooked.

[blackturtleshow]

Great song! You definitely have a good sense of humor!

[raymondcrooke]

Thanks, Some dog-lovers don't find the song very funny though!

[raymondcrooke]

No, I hadn't heard it in quite that form. Thanks for passing it on. Reminds me of Swift's solution to the Irish problem. You're right. I used to teach a unit on "Humour and Satire" and found irony a very difficult concept to get across.

[oldfolkiepad]

I t hink it was very brave of you to take this subject on, given the response that it was bound to provoke from people who don't understand irony. As a schoolteacher yourself, I expect you've heard the crusty old joke of which your splendid song reminded me, but just in case you haven't: one parents' evening, a mother asks her son's curmudgeonly old form tutor, "Do you actually like children, Mr S---?"

"Oh yes," he replies, "but I couldn't manage a whole one."

[knappydanny]

I stand opposed to eating computer nerds. At least until they make youtube work correctly.

[bayawolf1]

or computer nerds which ever you know the point is there are to many people and you know that what do you think the earth needs more people no no it does not im just saying he said when did eating meat become a crime well if you try to eat a person it is a crime