"In Which Buffy Slays Edward" by Armoured Bearcub

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Buffy the vampire slayer
Is tough and brave and selfless
She's every bit a role model
While Bella Swan's quite a bit less.

Only when Edward calls Bella his drug
is she any sort of heroine
I think that Stephenie Meyer should take
Some lessons from Joss Whedon.

Chorus:
We've all been having a vampire issue
This one can cause some damage even if he doesn't bite you
But it appears that Bella, once again, needs to be rescued
Cause Edward Cullen
Gives me the wiggins
So Buffy, can you please just slay him?

He's a 24 hour stalker
Creeping in her room at night
Plus, he says he wants to kill her
And that just isn't right

He makes girls want to jump off cliffs
Well, that can't be good news
And when Bella wakes with bruises
You know that's just plain abuse

Chorus

It makes me sick
When I see the way he's worshipped
This is not even close
To a healthy relationship

There's something wrong with us
If we think he's ideal
Who wants a hot boyfriend
Who'd make you his next hot meal?

Chorus

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Category:

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Tags:

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[karkkiliininam]

buffy does'nt have so healthy relationships either.. but I kinda agree with this song haha :D

[devilishlypure]

@karkkiliininam Yeah, but at least the viewer is very aware of and often reminded of that. Twilight tries to convince the reader that what Edward and Bella have is desirable, and that's kind of sick.

[Medea37]

@FuinLovesPie There's a difference between happy endings and "I'm too attached to my characters to make them suffer in the slightest" endings. The former is fine and well-liked by most people, the latter is just pathetic, especially for a writer. Bella's idiocy comes largely out of the fact that she doesn't know how to recognize a bad situation when it's beating her over the head. Guy she barely knows who stalks her and watches her sleep=perfect boyfriend candidate? Really?

[Butterflyerika8]

nice song but can I remind you that buffy was in love with not one but two vamps x)

Ow I miss buffy.!!!

[ShootingStar251982]

Awesome! I need this as a ring tone lol.

[apostolicaspie]

@ALLCAPSfan98726 Totally. I THINK Bella would be a Hufflepuff-- but, seriously, they need a better generic house. Well, she might do for Gryffindor... She was brave enough to play with the hearts of two boys who could've easily murdered her or arranged for her death. Edward would be a Hufflepuff, because of the way he pursued her so determinedly through all the conflict. Jakey would either be a Puff or a Gryff, for basically the same reasons, and for his wolfishness leaping into the fray.

[BuffySummersWannabe]

Great song writing! You are really good!

P.S. Like the song!

[gleekygoodness402]

@2014tbird teehee Ya I know :)

[2014tbird]

@gleekygoodness402 you are so odd.. :)

[Plottoberry]

There was this girl in a bookshop with a tshirt with '...and then Buffy staked Edward'' and I told her about the song. I let her write your bandname on a piece of paper and promise me that she would listen to the song. I think I did something good that day...

[gleekygoodness402]

:)

[ALLCAPSfan98726]

So if Buffy went to Hogwarts she world be in Gryffindor?