Together - Leo Davidson

Happy America Recycles Day, everyone. This is a song I've been performing recently, including in the recent Footlights Smoker ("[Leo Davidson was] unnamable [sic]" Varsity), and this recording is from last week's Corpus Christi Smoker. It's a subject dear to my heart and I hope the message hits home.

Lyrics:

Some people dedicate their lives to doing the right thing
They fight disease and hunger and the misery they bring
But these well-meaning do-gooders have got the wrong idea
Because the world would be much better off if none of us were here

So drive an SUV
To your vasectomy
And take medical advice from a homeopath
Let's make cigarettes
Available on the NHS
Take cooking tips from Sylvia Plath

Let's attach social stigma to becoming a parent
And let's place Boris Johnson in charge of our nuclear deterrent
Let's treat minor injuries with gamma radiation
And let's make all crimes capital and outlaw masturbation
Instead of child benefits the government should give out pit bulls
And sub-Saharan mosquitoes make excellent pets

The police should pull you over
If they catch you driving sober
Wear a Crystal Palace kit to the East London derby (which is against Millwall, who are notoriously violent)
Teach kids of the dangers
Of refusing sweets from strangers
And stand for election against Mugabe

And all that you recycle should be hypodermic needles
And emergency responders should be made to speak in riddles
Publish an exposé of the Russian Secret Service
And forget all of the reasons Ahmadinejad makes you nervous
Don't inspect your oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico
And spend your summer holidays in Cumbria

Because modern charities are out of touch
We need to starve the Africans, and drown the Dutch

And sure, you may think that I'm a cynic
Just because I've left my will to an abortion clinic

And if we fill the oceans with toxic waste
And clear the rainforests for office space
Then together we could end the human race

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Leo
• Davidson
• Funny
• Comedy
• Ukulele
• Song
• Human
• Extinction
• Environmentalism
• Cumbria

[freedomsong85]

1st!