ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SURVIVAL GUIDE

Salem, Dallas, and St. Louis survive a zombie apocalypse and react out to other survivers with vital information gathered through their own experiences and Zombieland in theathres now: ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE
SURVIVAL GUIDE

1.Cardio. The fatties always die first.
2.Be aware of bathrooms. Dont get caught with your pants down.
3.Seatbelts. Arrive alive.
4.Double tap. Because once just isnt good enough.
5.No attachments. Screw family & friends, they could be zombies.
6.Travel in groups. That way you wont be first to go.
7.Keep the dum-dums close at hand. You dont have to be the smartest, just smarter than the person next to you.
8.Kill with efficiency. Waste not, want not.
9.Guns are for hunting, not for zombie killing. You always run out of bullets. Toilet lids last forever.
10. Be quiet. Youll give the zombies and your companions a headache.
11. Avoid the masses. This is not Shaun of the Dead people.
12. Always have a car. Faster than running.
13. Leave no zombie alive. Or they will kill you.
14. Stock up on food. Cant kill on an empty stomach.
15. Do not chase the legendary Twinkie. Its just not worth it.
16. When in doubt, know your way out. Never let them corner you.
17. No practical jokes (when there are no zombies present). Playing Zombie with your friends will kill you.
18. Dont be a hero (unless you can get away with it).
19. Limber up. A lion may not stretch before hunting a gazelle, but you are a human, not a lion. Get over it.
20. Blend in. Zombies cant recognize a human in a zombie costume.
21. Find the right shelter. Make sure the place is empty before you sleep there. A surprise wake up call to a zombie eating your intestines is not pretty.
22. Zombies cant climb (ladders are an exception). Trust us.
23. Be ruthless. Its you against the world, and its okay to kill the grandma across the street. Just make sure shes a zombie first.
24. God bless rednecks. They have all the good weapons.
25. No drinking. Only one and youre done.
26. Do not go home. Your parents are most likely zombies.
27. Be a nomad. Do not stay in one place for too long. They will find you.
28. Travel light. Too many possessions will slow you down.
29. Communication is key. You may need to contact the local police department if you run out of other options.
30. Use your surroundings as your advantage. You may find an unlikely weapon.
31. Sleep deprivation is the 2nd leading cause of death. So get your 8 hours worth.
32. Check the backseat. A zombie surprise is not fun when youre driving.
33. Enjoy the little things. Have some fun, if the world is ending, breaking a few shop items should be the least of your worries.
34. Nut up or shut up. Grow some balls, girls like that.
Also if you are an outcast this blog is just for you:
http://a-wannabe-realgirl.tumblr.com/

Category:

Education

Tags:

• Zombieland
• outcasts

[mjlover123love]

this is not shun of the dead people!!!

lol

[7TeenBookclub]

lol

[Icehead3211]

delet this from history! at least dress up a few friends as zombies and drive around town proving these tips. that would be lagit.

[7TeenBookclub]

Lol yeah we had been up for 38 hours and were to lazy to add zombies

[7TeenBookclub]

We with a as possible promise

[Rodgerinho]

Haha, as if you three would survive zombie apocalypse : ). You're waaaayy too giggly

[darynfreeman]

you just got stuff from shaun of the dead and zombie land

[annoyingkid37]

This is like...

A gay video.

[MrBryce4477]

since when do zombies tasken the world?

[TheDaRooster]

Hehe i would be a buffet to them all.

[braseldazzle]

... there gunna die frist in a zombie appocalypse lol

[reatardedpenguin]

zombieland refrince

[bmad66]

@Austopian thats probably the stupidest idea ive heard, instead of eating you, they'll eat you while they're on fire

[Austopian]

kill them with fire

[Jaffer32313]

ive seen better acting in a porno