How To Get Laid

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It's the reason you were created. You might as well start practicing.

To complete this How-To you will need:

A functioning pair of genitals
Consent
Standards (optional)

Step 1: For girls

If you are a female... get laid. If you are a male, proceed to step 2.

Step 2: For gays

If you are a homosexual... get laid. If you are a heterosexual male, proceed to step 3.

Step 3: For guys

Locate a woman. Don't just stand there -- manipulate your lips and tongue to create "words," which, if formed correctly, will put the woman at ease and communicate to her that you are an affable person who knows how to speak.

Step 4: Use words

Use the "words" to talk about your massive pectoral muscles, collection of expensive sports cars, or your successful career as a multi-hyphenate firefighter-rock star-surgeon/astronaut. Now, get laid. Should you find these topics of conversation inapplicable, continue to step 5.

Step 5: Make a date

Go ahead and start checking for any signs of encouragement that it would be appropriate for conversation to continue. If you're getting the green light, suggest reuniting with the woman at a later date.

Step 6: Don't mince words

Convey to the woman in question that you would make an acceptable sexual partner. This can take weeks, months, and even years, so don't mince words.

Step 7: Get laid

Get laid.

Step 8: Repeat

Repeat.

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Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• How
• get
• laid
• sex
• dating
• kissing
• howto
• howcast
• touching

[danone1231]

Step 1. Get $250-500

Step 2. Go to the ghetto

Step 3. Find a ho

Step 4. Get a motel room

Step 5. Die of aids :D

[Angiielovesn141]

Where does one get genitals?

[pedobear123]

@danone1231 actually for 500 dollars you can get a high end escort without the superaids

[WalelaComics]

@pedobear123 I laughed my fuckin ass off when I read your comment! XD

[pedobear123]

I thought consent was optional

[rammsteinTOtheMAX]

this was one of the stupidest videos, but funny

[TheHollyking]

@danone1231 step5;optional use a condom and live

[TheHollyking]

omg so many virgins (795,700)sex isnt that big of a deal just be yourself and one of 2 bilion girls will like that and probably fuc* your brains out

[livelobster123]

This is why I love Howcast.

[MarlonOwnsYourCake]

@Angiielovesn141 best. comment. ever.

[AfroBenevolence]

This must be a big sarcasm