Kirk Cameron- "The Christian Church is Full of Tools!"

My entry into the Pwnage Olympics (Week 4), squeezing in just under the deadline. this is my longest and most ambitious installment yet of the HDPQMC? series.

A response to Kirk Cameron on the existence of God, evolution, and homosexuality:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1FQQRlLkuo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QkCwkr5w04
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8E88EKNpVE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqJfSa0tA3M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHTN8Re1izg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDgKxbL2jq4

#77 - Top Rated (4/3) - Comedy

Before I start, I just wanna say that I really feel a bit of kinship with apes. Evolution must be true! Let's look at the famous fossil archaeopteryx, a reptile transitioning into a bird. It has parts of a bird and parts of a reptile. It has feathers and teeth.
What Ray and I are saying is a bad joke. I used to be Christian, and I blindly believed what the Gospel writers told me in the Bible....
... I began going to church in sarcasm because the Bible is full of contradictions and speculation, but also one fairy tale of Jesus Christ that defies logic and is based on blind faith. The Bible is old, dead-letter scriptures, and that whole thing is packed with bullshit that is the instructions on how to commit intellectual suicide.
An old man called Paul blindly saw a vision of Jesus Christ. He wrote very specific information. He said, "Within a hundred years, Jesus will come back to the Earth," and that if within a hundred years, Jesus wasn't on the Earth, that his theory should be discarded. Well, more than a hundred years has gone by, and no Jesus. It was a hoax. So now, the Christian church is full of tools.
Is the Gospel genuine? of course not! Why? Because it contains myths and fairy tales. But, somebody must have written that. You're gonna say, who made the Gospel? Now, this is important because it will give credibility to the person of Jesus Christ. But the fact that the maker's name is not written all over the scriptures is embarrassing to Christians. You would find that any self-respecting Christian would tell you that huge gaps exist in the Gospel record. Christians concede that their most cherished theories are based on embarrassingly few fragments, and that huge gaps exist in the life of Jesus Christ. Jesus was born, was a teen, and suddenly was a man. And those missing years are still missing. He didn't have a true father. You would conclude Mary was a ho.
Supposedly, he died on the cross, rose from the dead, but there were no cameras on that day. You've got Gospels that are not fully-formed. You have adaptation within a hundred years of the person of Jesus Christ, but this is very different. Such wild speculation and sensationalistic tabloid journalism cannot produce meaningful information. Therefore, the possibility that Jesus has not come up even once is infinite...
...But you have never seen any homosexual transform into a heterosexual. Science has never found a genuine transitional homosexual, that is, someone who's gay, crossing over into someone who's not gay. Every gay man was born that way by nature. What about those males who once loved cock, straightening themselves up and becoming very manlike? Well, the truth is, they never existed in the first place....
...You see, when I was on Growing Pains, I was seventeen years old. I used to be a virgin. I used to masturbate. There was no motivation for me to wanna bang any man. So one day, this man says, "I wanna be nasty! And it doesn't come up on its own," and he offers $10,000 if I agree. And so I decided, "He's right on! Right on, man! That's a really good idea today!"
...A wise man once said, "Man will believe anything as long as it's in the Bible." But you've never seen any animal speak to a person. You've never seen it happen. No one's ever seen it happen...

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• pwnage
• olympics
• audio
• edit
• parody
• satire
• ray
• comfort
• way
• of
• the
• master
• kirk
• cameron
• kelly
• brian
• sapient
• nightline
• abc
• gay
• bible
• atheist
• evolution

[Tonyandbrooke]

do you not like Kirk Cameron?

[SeenAndNotSeen]

I find him entertaining.

[Tonyandbrooke]

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.!

[SeenAndNotSeen]

Your channel background cracks me up!

[Kattarina98]

Five stars. - And can you tell me how many days/weeks it took you to make this brilliant collage?

[SeenAndNotSeen]

All I will say is that it was for Coughlan666's Pwnage Olympics, he announced the event on Monday afternoon, and I finished it Friday afternoon.

I ended up putting in clips from maybe 8 different videos and thought to myself that this was getting way out of hand. This is my longest video to date, and the hardest to make.

[jayfunk13]

You made Kirk Cameron sound logical and rational. So I apologize for giving you 5 stars because I couldn't find the 50 million stars button

[NUTCASE71733]

Send this to Cameron ad Comfort NOW lol

[Requiemxtoxinnocence]

behold the power of editing! it turns you from a crazy idiot to a logical being.

[jesuslessed]

Brilliant!!

[billygundum]

100 YEARS TILL HES BACK?

I WANT THAT PROOF

[drac16]

Wow, he actually sounds rational now.

[jefmaze]

"Huge gaps in the Gospel record" LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

[zapo147]

pwnd, OMG

[thelegendarypaki]

Thank you for making this. Somebody really needed to show the world what a douchbag Kirk Camron is.

[Biggredd1977]

OMG!!!! 4:00