The Taliban Can (Parody of Candy Man by Sammy Davis Jr.)
"Allright, everybody down on the ground. The Taliban is here. "What kid of weapon do you want? Truck bomb, Anthrax, bunkerbuster? Anything you want, we'll get it right tomorrow, cuz we're the Taliban."
Who can take a Muslim Fill his brain with poo Tell him mailing anthrax Is a groovy thing to do The Taliban Oh the Taliban can The taliban can Cuz they mix the people up And make the world look bad
The Taliban takes kids As young as 8 Tell him that Uncle Sam is Satan Tell him that the feds in waiting Don't allow no masturbatin'
They're not hip or cool Who can take a dimwit Teach him how to fly Promise him some virgins Will be waiting when he dies The Taliban Oh the Taliban can
Cuz he thinks hes very special And he's better than you The taliban can Cuz they keep their women down And make their men go bad.
Oh, man those goofy Taliban, I tell ya. Maybe if they educated their women and took their veils off they wouldn't have so much time to fret. Although, you know, I've never seen the women, so maybe the veils aren't such a bad idea, who knows?
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer. 2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. 3. You have more wives than teeth. 4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean." 5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. 6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against 7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. 8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. 9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one. 10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.