Uncle Derrick (It's College Time), by The Stacks

After drinking eight bottles of wine one night while snowed in by snowstorm in Atlanta, the most important song about uncles by the most important band anywhere was recorded. (Lyrics below.)

Melody and Mixing: Eric Henson; Lead vocals: Drew Huggins; Keyboard: Mallory Hastings; Lyrics: Ian Cockfield; Guitar and Drums: Eric Henson; Backing Vocals: Eric Henson, Mallory Hastings, Vanessa Rogers, Ian Cockfield, Drew Huggins.

Uncle Derrick, you paid us twenty bucks to pee in that pizza box
Uncle Derrick, you promised you wouldn't look when we pulled out our cocks. (You're a liar.)
Uncle Derrick, you used our tools to build treehouses.
Uncle Derrick, you used those tools to cut off our trousers.

(Bridge:)
When you said you were a predator,
I always thought it was a metaphor.

(Chorus:)
Derrick, it's college time for your favorite nephew.
I've got twenty thousand pizza boxes in storage for you.
Since you're my uncle, I won't need finacial aid.
Because I peed in all of them and now it's time to get paid.

Uncle Derrick, you pulled out your telescope and showed us the moon.
Uncle Derrick, then you held us down, and taught us to spoon. (Forcably.)
Uncle Derrick, you taught us that vibrating penicls were meant to tease.
Uncle Derrick, you shoved those pencils inside and didn't say please.

(Bridge)
(Chorus, repeat).
(I'm your goddamn favorite!)
(...In public storage!)
(You gave all my friends AIDS!)
(Oh yeah-yeah-yeah...)
(I'm your goddamn favorite!)

Category:

Music

Tags:

• the
• stacks
• pizza
• box
• pee
• uncle
• derrick
• drew
• huggins
• eric
• henson
• ian
• cockfield