19 months Post-Op Update ~ Dating and Men

This update is trying to explain my current struggles with dating and men. If you are or have experienced anything similar to me, I would love to get a private message from you. Thanks for your support!

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• wls
• gastric
• bypass
• post-op
• rny
• maddsmarie
• update

[puhlease1]

I just sent you a rather long message - will you let me know if you got it? My youtube freaked out when I hit "send"

[puhlease1]

Thanks for posting this - I'm going to send you a private message because I'm WORDY :)

[freshorangina]

I can see how it could be addictive to serial date, for me I am also dealing with some transfer but with something else. I see how it cycles for me and it is still pretty closely related to my hormones, but beyond that is still the emotional component. I think recognizing the issues and being honest about it with yourself is probably half the battle. We all just have to figure out the right balance which is so hard when we have been masking the issues for so long.

[freshorangina]

Really great video, you are brave for putting it out there. I understand exactly what you mean. Before my WLS, I had 5 years of martial turmoil, and to find myself now looking at dating when the last time I dated I was 18 years old, is very intimidating for me. It seems the only attention I get is negative attention from men, and the only POF messages I get are from horny 20 year olds. I almost don't even want to deal with it, but I really miss the closeness and intimacy of a relationship.

[carmeldip32]

I am so here with you on this. I'm 11 months post-op and I am having such a hard time with men. I too hate being alone and want to be desired. That just ain't happening, so I'm like what wrong with me?? Thanks for this brave post.

[katiejuly]

Can I just add - and I know this is a smaller thing - that if I'd grown up getting flirted with by guys, it would seem like no big deal. But now, after 27 years of being "the friend" to boys or largely ignored, it can throw me for an emotional loop even to have the Starbucks barista be flirty? I know that's not the same thing, but if I were actively dating I could see the attention being addictive for sure. Big hugs, girl.

[katiejuly]

You are ok! I promise you'll get through this and emerge a stronger person. I feel like what you're going through now might still be on the horizon for me - I'm in a stunned sort of state, in terms of my body and attraction to others - as I regain my balance in this new body. But I don't doubt that so many people with wls go through exactly what you're talking about. I hope you get a lot of great private messages and that you continue to share your vids.

[iltommyd]

You are ok and you WILL get pass this . I Love You

[slcinoz]

Well you know my stance...I want to live in your world a while and date and you can live in mine : )....lol... I want to date..LOL..

Bravo....you look so cute! Thanks for sharing..although you already had with me : )

Love ya, Shannon

[changeisgood46]

You've gotten some excellent advice so far. I just wanted to share with you the knowledge that we all want love and belonging. You're a teacher, so you must know about Maslow's hierarchy? You've fulfilled your food and water needs, now time for love and belonging. It's natural! It doesn't make you weird or abnormal. It's not even totally a post op thing. You've just finally let your guard down, now. Take your time. Don't rush into anything. The man who you want and who wants you is out there.