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Published on Nov 6, 2013

Hector: Where would you like to work this afternoon?
Rudge: In a garage.
Boys: No, No
Scripps Not again. Have pity on us.
Hector: Dakin, Where would you like today?
Dakin: I would like to work . . . in a masion de passé.
Hector: Oo-la-la
Boys: What is that?
What is a masion de passe?
Posner A brothel
Hector: Very well. But a brothel where all the clients use the subjunctive
or the conditional tense, yes?
See there, a client already.
Who is the chamber maid?
Posner: Me. I am the chamber maid.
Hector: What are you called?
Posner: I am called Simone.
Akthar: Simone, the gentleman must not be kept waiting.
Posner: Hello, sir.
Dakin: Hello, my dear.
Posner: Come in, please.
Here is your bed and here is your prostitute
Hector: Oh, here one calls a cat a cat.
Dakin: Thank you madame.
Posner: Mademoiselle
Dakin: I want to stretch out on the bed.
Hector: I would like to stretch out on the bed in the conditional or the
subjunctive
Posner: But the shoes sir, not on the bed. And your pants if you please.
Dakin: Excuse me, miss.
Posner: Oh what beautiful legs.
Dakin Watch it.
Posner And now, Claudine.
Dakin: Yes, the prostitute, please.
Crowther: Sir, I would think that you would like some preliminaries
Dakin: Which preliminaries
Posner: Claudine, What preliminaries are on the menu?
Timms: At what price?
Dakin: Ten francs.
Timms: Ten francs? For ten francs I could show you my prodigious breasts.
Dakin: And now, if I could caress the breast?
Timms: That will cost you fifteen francs. For twenty francs you could
place your mouth on my breast and agitate. . .
Lockwood: Agitate what? (there is a knock)
Posner: Another client!
Hector: Ah, dear headmaster
Headmaster: Mr. Hector, I hope I'm not
Hector: English is forbidden. Here one speaks nothing but French,
giving particular importance to the subjunctive.
Headmaster: Oh ah. And what is going on here? Why is this boy, Dakin, isn't
it, without his trousers?
Hector: Anyone? Don't be shy. Tell our dear headmaster what you are doing.
Dakin: I am a man who. . .
Hector: You are not a man. You are a soldier, a wounded soldier; you
understand dear Headmaster a wounded soldier?
Headmaster: Wounded soldier, of course, yes.
Hector: This is a hospital in Belgium.
Headmaster: Belgium, Why Belgium?
Akthar At Ypres sir. Ypres. During World War I.
Hector. It is so. Dakin is a wounded soldier, one mutilated by the war
and the others are the doctors and orderlies, and all the
personnel of a large medical and therapeutic establishment.
Continue my children.
Headmaster: But . . .
Akthar: How he suffers!
Lockwood: My mother. My mother!
Akthar: He calls for his mother.
Lockwood: My father! My father!
Akthar: He calls for his father!
Lockwood: My aunt!
Headmaster: His aunt?
Timms: The whole family.
Hector: He is distracted. He is distracted.
Irwin: He is shell-shocked perhaps?
Hector: What?
Irwin: Commotionné. Shell-shocked.
Hector: It is possible. Commotionné. Yes that is the right word.
Headmaster: Allow me to introduce Mr. Irwin, our new teacher.
Hector: Enchanted.
Headmaster: What I want. . .
Hector: What I would like. . .
Headmaster: Would like. Enough of this silliness, not silliness, no but Mr.
Hector, you are aware that these pupils are Oxbridge candidates.
Hector: I, too. No, absolutely not. No. No. No. No, it is out of the
question. And now if you will excuse me, I must continue the
lesson. Until later

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