Jane & Ian Wedding Ceremony

Like the number pi, love is irrational. The digits of pi go on forever without repeating, just as each day of your life together will be marked by new and exciting experiences.

Einstein said that "Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." But consider that Ian and Jane are standing approximately 1m apart right now, you could calculate the attractive force between them by multiplying the Gravitational constant by the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance between them...or approximately 1/3 of a microNewton. Now, one-third of a microNewton may not seem like a lot to most, but consider that this force will only continue to increase as the two of you grow closer and closer.

Is the force of love infinite? Well, if love is similar to gravity or electromagnetism, this would only be possible if the distance between you is equal to zero. Now Pauli might argue that this is not possible for two objects to occupy the same space and time, but Schrodinger might posit that there is nothing to say that your wave-functions cannot and do not overlap. And in that sense, I can say without hesitation that today, the two of you will truly become one.

But what about the power of love? Well, that depends on the distance over which the force of love is exerted divided by the time. Given a small enough time frame, I can also say without hesitation that the power of love between the two of you has an upper limit of infinity.

But let's not get too complicated. We don't need integrals or functions to derive what it is that has brought us here today. Instead, let us celebrate today with a simple proof. Given the following statements:

- That Ian and Jane take each other from this day forward;
- And that they promise to love and to cherish one another for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as they both shall live.

Ian, do you attest to the truth of these statements?
Ian: I do

And Jane, do you also attest to the truth of these statements?
Jane: I do

- And by an exchanging of rings, that provides a physical affirmation of the promise you have made to one another...

(Best man presents ring to Ian to place on Jane's finger)
(Best woman presents ring to Jane to place on Ian's finger)

Q.E.D.

By the transitive property...and by the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Virginia and the City of Alexandria, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss my sister.

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• 2009
• 07
• 25
• Ceremony