It Gets Better...My Love Letter To Anyone Coming Out

Hello Everyone.

September has been a month of tragedies. It seems that each passing day brought another report of a young man who had taken his own life because of bullying and the homophobic actions of others. To me, this month has felt like one long funeral. Among those we lost were:

Justin Aaberg- 15 years old...Anoka, Minnesota
Billy Lucas- 15 years old...Greensburg, Indiana
Asher Brown- 13 years old...Harris, Texas
Seth Walsh- 13 years old...Tehachapi, California
Tyler Clementi- 18 years old...Ridgewood, New Jersey
Raymond Chase- 19 years old...Providence, Rhode Island

Even though this may seem like alot to some, what I can't help but think when I see this list is how many more gay teens committed suicide who we may never hear about...perhaps because they didn't want anyone to know or because their families hid the information. There's always a reason. Only one thing is for sure...the young men above are the short list of those who fell to Loneliness and the intimidation of others.

In response to the wave of deaths and hoping to foster the survival of gay teens, Dan Savage and his partner began the awesome "It Gets Better Project", a Youtube page in which those of us who made it past those years of loneliness and isolation share how our lives have changed....that it does get better in just a couple of short years. To date, the project has collected nearly 120 testimonies: http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject

Including Jays and mine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_2qvXfA85c

I left the experience of making that video feeling like I had so much more to say. So, I'm writing today's post as a letter to gay teens who are feeling that suicide is the only way to end that sense of shame and isolation....also to those of us coming out later in life...and also to my 18 year old self. Please read on...

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[timm3hisgay]

thank you so much for posting this video its given me more courage to go and come out to my dad...hopefully will do it this weekend

[depfox]

@timm3hisgay let us know how it goes...fingers crossed

[SashaKatan]

I was 12, and the older brother of one of my friends said it was a sin and anyone who is gay deserves to go to hell and if he ever met a gay he'd help send them there.

I'm now 17, and I can't say it aloud, even to myself. This is one of the first times I've ever written it.

I'm not bullied. I fall under the radar. But I can't say out loud that I'm gay. Atleast bi, but probably a lesbian. It was even difficult for me to write that, but it's like ripping a bandaid. Hopefully it gets easier.

[depfox]

@SashaKatan The most important person to come out to is yourself....Once you can look in the mirror and know you are as God made you and you are loved then you will be ok with being gay...Hugs

[depfox]

@nelson4truth You have know idea what you are talking about...I want to say this in a very loving way...You are not God and you are not Gay so there is no way that you can understand either or why things are the way they are...If you are a person of faith you should know not to judge your nighbor. as a gay christian I am very comfortable with my family and life and 100% Know that my relationship with GOD is good...Work on your relationship with him and leave others alone.

[tomcatsclone]

@nelson4truth I'n not a bible believing Christian so do me a favour and throw your religion down someone else's throat because i really couldn't care less on what you think you know. I'f i'm going to "hell" for being honest and being who i am then i'd much rather go there with other people like myself than go to heaven if it's full of people like you who think it's right to judge people on something beyond their control. How would you know if being gay was a choice of not, grow up, idiot!

[steeldrago73]

i remember how i felt all those years ago...very much as bryan said (very mouse btw) and then my niece came out to me and i had the opportunity to tell her what no one told me... that it was no big deal.. being gay that it is, that it is normal and ok and that she is still loved. i worried but she is in a good place and still the goofy girl i knew way back when whos thoughts got lonely and flew away like bats from a belfrie.

[irceco]

you are my hero :)

[sagemaduin]

This brought tears to my eyes because even though I've been out for years now I still remember the exact feelings and memories you expressed in your letter. Beautiful.

[SARGENT309]

One of my friends is a leasbean and in school people make her feel bad and put her down shes always sad I don't know what to say.

[michaelmichael9201]

okay hold this fucking shit up ..... is he a cristian o hell no i belive in nothing okay love you bye jk noo i love this vid im gay and im 13 . thank you

[MikeBlevinsAZ]

One of the best vids ever. Thanks for sharing.

[carl8218]

Thank you so much! It means a lot. I am so damn proud to be gay! So proud! But my family is so religious and I tried coming out but I'm just back in the closet! I'm going to turn 16 at the end of January and hopefully before I turn 16 I can have the acceptance of my mom and sister!

[nanders2834]

@SashaKatan Hang in there Sasha. Just remember it's all about who you surround yourself. Surround yourself with love, not hate. Also stay away from your friends older brother.

[Hydrolico45]

Thank you so much.

[WrongWayRightSpeed]

Thankyou so much, things have just been building up lately, all the hate, every time fag or queer is used as an insult, my smile shines a bit brighter, but my faith in humanity creeps a bit lower. Thankyou for renewing that faith, and making that smile constantly plastered across my face a little more genuine. Honestly, at this moment I consider you a Godsend. The irony ;)