How To Write Truly Tasteless Wedding Vows

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Can we be frank? No one cares about your vows except you. Which is exactly why you should feel free to indulge your every wedding whim.

To complete this How-To you will need:

Self-absorption
Cheesiness
No shame

Step 1: Sex them up

Make your vows sexy. Say things that make everyone—old and young alike—cringe with embarrassment.

Step 2: Hone your standup act

Treat your vows like a stand-up routine.

Step 3: Include inside jokes

Include lots of inside jokes. Who cares if no one at the service knows what the hell you're talking about? This day is about you.

Step 4: Wax poetic

Set your vows in iambic pentameter. Everyone loves amateur poetry.

Step 5: Make them gag

Make your promises so touchy-feely, lovey-dovey, ooey, gooey, that your loved ones want to gag.

Step 6: Break into song

For truly memorable vows, break into song—preferably one you wrote yourself.

Step 7: Make it lengthy

Make your vows as long as possible. Hey, you may not have a captive audience like this ever again.

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Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• howcast
• how-to
• wedding
• vows
• marriage

[prissxazn]

"the marriage lasted four years"

OUCH. XD

[xilovegerardx]

"you put the north in my pole" lol

[KirstyBandicoot1]

About Brad Pit and Jennifer Anistopn and their wedding Promise.. What I Wanna know In those 4 years did they keep the promise and make Milkshakes or was It a Undone task... WHY MILKSHAKE YOU WERE NEVER BLENDED WH-HYYYY!!!

[MissMissy1997]

WTF???? WHEN DID BRAD PIT AND JENIFFER ANISTOPN GET MARRIED?!?!?!!!!

[tigerstripes379]

I wish I could like this 20 million times. I laughed so hard! LoL

[cycla]

milkshakes... hmm...

[Spirits589]

"My dearest snookie-wookums-fo-banna-fanna­-rama-dama..."

Haha!

[DiscreetFilms]

Directed by John Liang

Starring Alexander Smith and Dominique Jones

[iwuvbunnyrabbits]

Oh really. I never knew deceased people could age. Seriously. Get a damn life and stop the retarded chain mails.