Thug Life (Jarrett Sorko)

BUY THIS SONG ON ITUNES TO HELP KEEP ME OFF THE STREETS! http://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thug-life/id464389585?i=464389652&uo=4

This song is the first new song off my new mixtape so if you like it download the full mixtape on itunes: http://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/thug-life/id464389585?uo=4

Follow me? http://www.twitter.com/jarrettsorko
http://www.facebook.com/jarrettsorko

Lyrics:

Wake up every morning and I lay in bed
While I fix my hair half dead, bed head
Legs spread, 500 count cotton thread
I start fixing my hair again, other bed head

My clocks like a battered housewife as I hit snooze
I don't know what to do, it's past 2, and I want food
Leftovers from last night's dinner but with a twist
I put old spice on my rice and it tastes like shit

And I buy icy KY so cold you'll die
For dessert you'll be having some ice cream pie
My mouth is dry, waiter, yo what's the delay?
Get me a straight vodka, I don't like liquids that are gay

And I want free sorbet, it's my birthday
What do you mean I said that last week, I cant afford to pay
Well I'll still act confused when my credit card's refused
Even though I'm broker than the condoms Sarah Palin's daughter used.

I'm Jarrett, so you better watch your back
Oh snap I'll rap while wrapping a wrap in saran.
Straight out of Compton, yo I'm your man
And I smoke 8 balls in the back of my van.

And ever since conception, I've been a master of deception
I put lies in my lies like Xzibit watching Inception
I'm just kidding, I never really lie, honestly
But I just lied about lying so what does that say about me?

I've got the lyrical complexity of a 5 thousand piece
Puzzle put together by a deaf guy who can't see.
And my athletic ability is like a piece of bread I suppose
White bread, I'm not hot enough to be toast

I'm like and 18th century Asian and I lay down this track
My words explode like the dynamite in his backpack
Screaming, yelling, talking in CAPS
While my dogs running laps in my lap, wolf pack

At Costco, packs of bras, booby traps, as I nap
In knapsacks and play blackjack with Jack Black
Cause I'm shitty at craps, surprise?
Here's two facts about old guys.
(They like to wear wolf t-shirts, and they're gonna die soon)

I'm Jarrett bitch, so watch you back
Oh snap I'll rap while wrapping a wrap in saran.
Straight out of Compton, yo I'm your man
And I smoke 8 balls in the back of my van.

Seriously, who the fuck drives vans anymore, or rides
Tried but I can drive to Regis Philbon's can drive
He looks at me with pride and asks do you have any cans sir (cancer)
I'm like no but you do, and that's my final answer

So somebody please get me a wad of paper and a string
Cause this flow won't stop it just keeps happening
And tell gas prices to watch their back, they'll know why
I mean look what happened to Amy Winehouse when she got too high

Like a crippled baseball player never made it to first base
I'm 20 years old and I can still count the stubble on my face
I eat snack packs, watch Catdog, and play with boobies
And I still get ID'd when I go to the movies

Making a salad but dropped the beet (beat) what the hella?
It's fine cause I'll still rhyme on time only acapella
I don't need a beat yo, no, I'll rap 'til death
Just give me a second to catch my breath

I'm Jarrett, so you better watch your back
Oh snap I'll rap while wrapping a wrap in saran.
Straight out of Compton, yo I'm your man
And I smoke 8 balls in the back of my van.

Look at me, I'm clinically insane, I'm mental, an oddity
A commodity, you gotta see me, save me, psychologically
It's gotta be a lobotomy, gotta be that, gotta be this
Gotta be negative, my AIDS test was an optimist

But I'm no different than you, I just don't hide behind a mask
And I ask the things that no one else would dare to ask
Like does God really exist? And who invented all the laws?
And why are Asian women skinny until they hit menopause?

I can pick up any girl in the world, you know that
Unless she's over 130 pounds, then I might pull out my back
Take her to a Porsche, to have intercourse
And hit her g-spot with g-force

I'm not shy, just tongue tied like a tied tongue tied
In a tie, can't deny, expired license so I can't drive by
Don't like me, be quiet and please humbly standby
Because I got a dick made of anthrax, fuck with me and you'll die

I'm Jarrett, so you better watch your back
Oh snap I'll rap while wrapping a wrap up fine.
Now this is the end of the song, last bar, last rhyme
Just like an unprepared chef, I'm out of thyme

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Jarrett Sorko
• Jarrett
• Sorko
• Windsor Dude
• Thug Life
• Mixtape
• Rap
• Funny
• Comedy
• Ghetto
• White
• Living on Streets
• Music
• Xzibit
• Yo Dawg
• Inception
• Hip
• Hop
• Hiphop
• hilarious
• hip hop
• second
• I herd u liek mudkips
• comedy rap
• funny song
• music
• funny
• witty lyrics
• clever

[Colbkid]

So much like Bo.. I think they need to do a duet.

[stephenwharton1]

The next Bo Burnham?



[mark73551]

this is awsome

[supercatmatt]

I hate you for how good this is.

[XxTheGreenDeathxX]

YO THIS IS MY MONTAGE SONG :D

[KingAce023]

I play basketball where he was playing it's close to Devonshire lol maybe will meet one day

[iLike2EatPaste]

@XxTheGreenDeathxX i agree

[iLike2EatPaste]

@Mysterymeato major fucking faggot

[llora1000]

Great Video!!!

[XxTheGreenDeathxX]

@Mysterymeato faggot