"Ted Haggard Is Completely Heterosexual" by Roy Zimmerman

http://www.royzimmerman.com/

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My songs are available through my website and on iTunes. Here, I perform "Ted Haggard..." at the 142 Throckmorton Theatre in Mill Valley during a recent "Mark Pitta and Friends" comedy night.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Ted
• Haggard
• songs
• satirical
• gay
• evangeleical
• hypocrisy
• pride

[Aviii]

@yoadrienneaz Ted Haggard got what he had coming to him, and that includes mockery. Last I checked, Roy isn't a hypocritical charlatan swindling people out of their money.

[protectthehuman]

He's as straight as a circle. Yes, but as long as it has finite circumference... Sorry.

[tammyscotland]

@JarethGT I suppose when it's been fed to you your whole life that homosexuality is wrong, that if you're a boy your supposed to like girls and vice-versa and that one day you're going to marry a member of the opposite sex and have kids etc it could be quite difficult to come to terms with finding that you're different. You're not obeying the rules that you've been told are there and there's either two things to do - come out and face the music or hide. Ted hid.

[INTPTT]

@JarethGT There's also asexuality: not being attracted to either.

[JarethGT]

@spider23000 Well, I really don't understand how someone can "struggle" with their sexuality. Take a good look at it, you either like women, men, or both. Face it and accept it, otherwise your just lying to yourself, not struggling.

[spider23000]

I was raised Christian and I understand people who struggle with their sexuality, etc etc.

But Ted Haggard repeatedly preached on hell damnation for homosexuals, then got caught sleeping with one.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

If you ask me, he had it coming and deserved everything he got. If, as a pastor, you struggle with a particular issue, the dumbest thing to do is stnd in a pulpit preaching against it, making others who struggle with it feel shamed and embarassed.

[RevalFassaadid]

ted is not gey. hes hetero whit issues

[Ongarukat]

@bluffr22 Ted Haggard was head of a large evangelical organization (can't remember which one at the moment) until 2007, when he was caught hiring a male escort under a pseudonym.

After "ex-gay" counseling, Haggard claimed to be "cured" of Teh Gay, but later admitted he still struggles with unwanted homosexual urges.

[joemantex]

@bluffr22 Google is your friend, my friend.

[bluffr22]

OMG I got no idea who Ted Haggard is or who this guy is either but this was fucking hilarious!

[Asdayasman]

This guy is clever, I like him.

[MoralRapist]

he is completely heterosexual! really! *laugh* can't say that with a straight face.