Social Anxiety: Max - Part 1

I describe the beginning of my social anxiety.

Category:

Education

Tags:

• social
• anxiety
• disorder
• phobia
• depression
• shyness
• treatment
• therapy
• Dr.
• Richards
• Social
• Anxiety
• Institute

[Metsada007]

Also, I have finally come to realize that I'm convinced that I'm ugly. This is one of the main reasons that I get so anxious.

It may sound strange, but I think I'm uglier when I try to be myself. I always look in the mirror and try to appear different or more attractive (by my own standards). Feeling ugly is really terrible.

[SocialAnxietyInst]

Metsada, Yes, if you are doing the therapy, you know you cannot get anywhere by "forcing" yourself. A lot of us, myself included, realize through therapy that we have these irrational deep-seated beliefs. I personally don't feel we have to learn all this about ourselves up front. We just need to be consistent with therapy, but along the way, realizing we have these unhealthy beliefs allows us to address them and expose them for the lies that they are. We have a right to be kind to ourselves.

[Metsada007]

When I try to feel natural and be myself, I seem to get more anxious. It's as if I'm losing control and showing my weakness and awkwardness. I feel like people wouldn't like my natural state, while the opposite is probably true, and yet I can't help it. Does anyone feel the same? :(

[SocialAnxietyInst]

Metsada, Max here from SAI. I find I get nervous when I'm trying to force anything, which usually means worrying about what people think. I still get nervous, but I find that I can get closer to calming down when I remind myself that I can't be anyone besides me. I've got nothing to prove. I can really only be myself and answer to myself. It may sound silly or simplistic, but this idea helps bring me back to being rational. As the therapy series says, I've got nothing to prove.

[riggs58]

Hi, Max. I was happy to receive your video link through Dr. Richards' SAI mailing list. I'm 35 and i'm dealing with SA too. Glad to see others confronting and recovering from the problem. Keep up the great and inspiring work!

[SocialAnxietyInst]

Thanks, riggs. Even now I continue to go thru situations which keep challenging me from an axiety standpoint. I'd be lying if I said I don't sometimes feel overwhelmed or exhausted. But, the difference from a few years ago, before I did therapy, is that I feel I can keep moving ahead now. It's not easy, for sure, but I'm not totally controlled by the anxiety and depression that follows. I wish you the best. Keep doing the therapy, or what works for you!! It's been the only thing for me.

[fondofletters]

One day....I want to be able to do something for the people that have social anxiety and are shy.... For now I'm only 19 and still struggling with my SAD a bit... I've evoluated a lot anyway... Wish all people that have SAD a fine, happy life with joyful and great social relations....:)

[Ostnizdasht206]

I know exactly how that is.. sometimes my head feels like it's going to explode and I have a hard time focusing.

[JB1052]

Well I just got the SAI Newsletter in my email and checked out these video links. Out of all of them I relate to Max about 95%. Almost everything Max describes I went/go through. I'm on Citalopram to keep me "above water" and it helps but if I got off it symptoms would mostly come back. Blushing is the killer for me. You get hot, you know your red and you know other see it and that makes it worse and you lose it (tremble when you talk, beads of sweat, rapid heart beat). Darn out of characte

[minawashu]

This is so identical to my life growing up that I can't believe it.

[Hixlol]

I have social anxiety, it ruining my life..and yeah my family used to say "your just shy you'll grow out of it" too bad thats not true

[Metsada007]

Even thinking positive things leaves me exhausted. My brain is easily overstimulated, this has always been the case for me.

I always hide within my mind when I'm with people. I never feel a connection, I always look away, put my head down, turn my body away from people etc. People never feel comfortable around me. I can see and feel this.

[Metsada007]

The many thoughts and emotions I have prevent me from relating to other people or the outside world. I don't have any energy left to deal with the external (real) world..

My own thoughts and emotions are so strong that they seem to replace interaction with real human beings. I have a very rich inner world.

[Metsada007]

Hi Max,

I don't know if it has to do with negative thoughts. Perhaps our brain works differently than people who do not have social anxiety?

I'm very internally minded. I can't relate to the outside world. I live in my own head. I think and feel so much that I can't stand external stimulation..

to be continued..