Pocket Bike Heist

A guy, seemingly like any other human breaks one of my camera's lenses by poking his long Mechanix® sheathed finger into it. I see this happen on my CCTV system. I throw on a yellow shirt (the only thing I had left clean, alas, it is my favorite shirt AND color nonetheless) and run out my back door into the cemetery that is located about 10 feet behind my house.

It was time for retribution.

I knew the road that he was on would pass by my house, and as I calculated his speed and windage using the Fibonacci sequence and an abacus I came to the conclusion I would have enough time to cut him off at the pass 5 feet behind the cemetery that is 10 feet behind my house.

The stick launcher booby trap you see at 0:37 failed because when I developed the system I calculated the response time to the average speed of an unladen swallow, which we all know, is slower than a pocket bike. Luckily for me, the criminal had to take a urine break. I saw my chance, and I seized the bike. The bike just so happened to be my favorite color, yellow (which if you'll notice, is the color of my shirt too).

Everything was going fine until I got cocky and decided to go mess with the guy. He saw me coming, picked up a large stick that was on the ground and knocked me off my newly acquired pocket bike. Luckily for him, it's three minutes till midnight.

Nanner Dodge - 1:46

Music:
30 Seconds to Mars - Fallen
Breaking Benjamin - Break Down
Enya - Only Time
Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life

Camera:
Canon HFS100

Resist the New World Order.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• pocket
• bike
• heist
• steal
• guy
• pee
• vachine
• gun
• netwalker
• productions

[feezynigga]

haha he finally picked up speed to get away in the slowmo

[tonyguetterman]

i lold so bad when he got on the bike haha

[kornybun]

<3 Wryland got so mad!