I am elsewhere

a 1 minute 10 seconds video performance, 2004
a narration of a personal story to reconstruct my memory through deconstructing my actual physical existence, the no feeling, no emotions, and living in the void, the few seconds before death, the last moments of awareness where seconds becomes so slow and so heavy but at the same time extremely short and venerable.

performed by hassan choubassi
computer generated voice-over

I was 12 years old when in 1982, Beirut was invaded.
After 2 days in an underground shelter; I was so eager to go out to day light.
I was on the balcony playing sniper, when I saw, one of the resistance fighters, standing on a corner.
As if waiting for someone. Then he was dancing for a few seconds, before he dropped on the ground.
I realized that he was not dancing. But he was getting shot from behind.
He danced for 3 seconds, and dropped dead.
For 3 seconds, he was aware that he is going to die.
For 3 seconds he experienced death.
For 3 seconds he experienced life, passing away.
For 3 seconds he went through time. So short. and so slow.
Time passed through him, penetrated his body, and left him behind, to pass away.
Not here. Not anywhere.
No emotions.
No feelings.
Dizzy.
Numb.
Vanishing.
Disappearing.
Entering the void.
The nothing.
3 seconds of awareness.
Experiencing death while still alive.
Experiencing life while passing away.
Feeling the slowness of time for 3 seconds.
A lot of time passes in 3 seconds.
Feeling the weight of time passing through.
Penetrating the body.
And leaving it behind.
To pass away, slowly, for 3 seconds.

Category:

Film & Animation

Tags:

• Hassan
• Choubassi
• Beirut
• DasArts
• Amsterdam
• non-places
• lost
• in
• the
• city