BREAKING NEWS! New Albany Dentist Dr. Ron Receveur Taken Hostage

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SWAT officers and firefighters arrived on the scene early this morning at 819 Mount Tabor, address of Dr. Receveur, to find bedlam breaking out in the office. As SWAT officers moved in at least two people were seen running from the office yelling repeatedly, "They're on the loose! They've got Dr. Receveur!" After a few brief questions the two were taken to an undisclosed location for debriefing.

All that sources would tell us was that the witnesses reported seeing Dr. Receveur running down the hall and locking himself on the inside of a room, apparently followed closely by...snapping dentures! We cannot get official confirmation that this was indeed the case, although a third witness who snuck out the back door in all of the confusion did seem to confirm the earlier report.

"It was awful and so sudden!" she reported. "Dr. Receveur was putting mini-implants in a patient when the old dentures seemed to come to life and become terribly agitated. Suddenly they were snapping at Dr. Receveur, growling, and before he could react they had bitten him the calf!" At that point it is reported that Dr. Receveur ran down the hall screaming, "the dentures are coming, the dentures are coming!" and everyone started to flee the building.

SWAT members still had the building surrounded as this edition went to print. One SWAT member was reported as saying, "We don't know who to call. We're going to have a FEMA meeting within the hour and see whose jurisdiction this actually is...Animal Control? The Surgeon General? The American Dental Association? We don't know what to do. We all hope and pray Dr. Receveur is not harmed."

Police have decided to formally declare this a hostage situation. Until communication with the hostile dentures can be established and motives determined the building will remain surrounded and police ask that you remain clear of the area. "We don't know what we're dealing with here, but we'd like to contain the situation to the building. We don't want the public to be put at risk so we ask that curiosity seekers remain home, lock their doors and wait for an all clear bulletin."

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