Crash Different - The Original

This is me. Really. I'm the Mac Parody guy. This is based on material both from my own experience with Avid Media Composer and Final Cut Pro (then version 3) running on Mac OS9 and OSX and Chris Nuccio who should be knighted for offering me the phrase "You have to trick a Mac..." Chris has been under credited for his contributions to this rant. He was in many ways my Mac Bashing Sensei...

A short by "Hunter Cressall"

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• Mac
• Parody
• Hunter
• Cressall
• crash
• different
• Macintosh
• Apple

[maccollectorZ]

GET A MAC!!!! Windows computers are pieces of cheap plastic that break for no reason. My cousin had to replace the screen on his stupid Windows laptop THREE TIMES!!! And it broke again! And it's not because he isn't taking care of it. It just broke for now reason. (the hinges too)

now he has to use an external monitor for the piece of junk. And they put stupid ads on the palm rests of these stupid laptops. 7 STICKERS!!! You want to take 'em off but NO! It will void the stupid warranty you need!

[Vexxarr]

@maccollectorZ Microsoft doesn't manufacture laptops. You need to shop carefully and buy wisely. The stickers as you call them do come off. Warm them gently with a hair dryer (this is in the manual) and wipe off any remaining residue with denatured alcohol (this is from my experience). Removing stickers does NOT void the warranty. You will need the Windows serial number if it came pre-installed. That's about it. Macs make great laptops but Acer is a better value for most users.

[maccollectorZ]

These piece of junk Windows computers make me sooooo mad!! GET A MAC! I put in a simple game and it can't even play it!!!!! And on the HP laptop it lags when you move the mouse cursor! What is that?!? It skips every 3 seconds!

[Vexxarr]

@maccollectorZ You purchased an underpowered machine that wasn't designed to play the games you want to play. I suggest either an Alienware laptop for gaming or a Toshiba or Acer fully specked out. Macs typically aren't designed for games. There are graphics issues when playing games that require on-card shader or texture operations. Macs just don't do that. They weren't designed to.

[maccollectorZ]

I can't stand Windows!!! It's the worst rip-off of the Apple GUI EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it sucks too! The only thing that can come somewhat close to a good OS is XP or 2000. Win 98 and 95 SUCK! The computers suck! They always fail! Someone I know has a new Win. laptop, and his mom tripped over a USB device in the USB port and it shorted it out and the computer couldn't turn on after that. Macs have short protection! I also dropped a Dell laptop on the carpet on purpose and 3 pieces broke off!

[Vexxarr]

@maccollectorZ Mac power supplies are the subject of a class action lawsuit alleging fire hazard. The power supplies for Mac laptops are notoriously dangerous and prone to shorts. Macbook Pros are prone to overheating. The original MacbookPro would even burn user's laps if they left them running on their unprotected legs.

Microsoft doesn't manufacture computers. They make software. If you want a decent PC, you need to shop and buy wisely. My Acer just turned 4 and is amazing.

[Vexxarr]

Well, I like to think that Macs suck as much as any computer. Mac users are just deluded about issues of stability, speed and ease of use. Macs can be great machines if you take time to become an educated user...just like a Windows machine can be a great machine if you take the time to be an educated user.

[metaeditor]

MAGNIFICENT RANT!!! :D

And I'm a 'Wintel' user.

Setting, dialog, props, music, it's ALL PERFECT!

Great work! Thank you for sharing this! :)

[Vexxarr]

@maccollectorZ 1) HP makes a terrible machine. 2) Vista has been dead for three years 3) You can't play games on a Mac...well, there is Farmville. I own and operate Three Macs running Leopard and Tiger. Macs are very reliable. I own five PCs running XP and 2K on both Intel and AMD architecture. XP and Leopard are virtually identical with regard to stability and performance (one you shut Time Machine off). Macs are great. XP is great. I use them both. Professionally.

[maccollectorZ]

Um, I have WAY more problems with Windows computer than Macs. And I know how to use Windows computers. This piece of junk HP desktop had idiotic Vista on it, so I put XP on it and the internet stops working. You can't connect to the internet! And don't say that it was my actual internet's fault, cause it isn't. It works fine on my Mac. I can't stand those stupid HP laptops either! Stupid error message that comes back after you close the #$%@ thing!!! I can't play any games either! Get a mac!

[ImprovmanZero]

Also the system and programs are relativity more expensive for Mac vs. PC.