The Mother's Day Song (Thank you for not being Dad)

LYRICS BELOW:

A dedication to all the mothers in the world who aren't Brittany Spears. Brought to you by the Suburban Eskimos; making you laugh, cry, and vomit for 36 years. Thank you to Weird Al for the original melody to the song. (You Don't Love me Anymore)

But more importantly, we want to thank our mothers; for putting up with us for over 20 years.
From Cr0y & Qbez

Lyrics:
Remember that time dad was drunk as hell
came into my room and he started to
yell.
Something about the north pole
about how penguins are all big
assholes
I guess I
never understood why he'd get pissed
when I played
basketball and I always missed.
You'd come up to him and say,
it isn't my
fault if his ass, ends up gay.
oh
You always taught me what I need to
know
despite how often I made you mad.
Guess what I am saying,
Is thank you
for not being dad.
I knew that I had really messed up when
I slashed all your
tires and then I slashed em again.
You said I'm grounded for life
dad said
screw the groundiing then he pulled out his knife.
You know I always found it kind of
nice the way,
you let daddy sleep on the couch every day.
I still remember
the way that he asked
for a sandwich ever time you walked past.
Oh
If you made him a sandwich made of nothing but bud light,
he would be eternally
glad.
Sometimes I have to tell you,
thank you for not being dad.
Remember when I had walked in on you two,
now I have nasty flashbacks every time I eat
stew.
I washed my eyes with mace.
Dad said forget what you saw and smacked me
across the face.
oh you're
Always here when I need you the most,
like when I thought I was haunted by Chris Farley's ghost.
Dad said that I was brain
dead.
Then he tried to make me normal by jump kicking my head.
Oh you know I never really liked him at all.
His face just always made me so sad.
Mom I
just have to say
thank you for not being dad
mom I just need to say
thank you for not being dad

(THANK YOU)

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• diarrhea stew

[bristol21888]

Oh. My. God. I'm pretty sure you guys are going to hell for this one. Keep up the good work!

[mastercory13]

My mother probably won't think this is incredibly funny, but I do. Where's the e-card version?

Happy Mom Day.

[darknightmare116]

Haha, totally sending this to my mother. She'll love it, then question why she ever gave birth to me. Keep up the good work, guys.