Iowa Road Trip

A satire on Iowa living. Music is public domain from 1929, Kansas Joe and Memphis Millie, "When the Levy Breaks"

"Hello. It is I again. In this wonderful state of... Ioway! Come for a ride with us!"
"Hello, how are you? We are driving through the beautiful state of Ioway! We are looking at all the wonderful corn, and the beans, and the hay, and the moo-moo cow-cows, and we're really digging it! And, now we're driving on this gravel road, and I just want you to take a look to the right. Look at the beautiful, beautiful corn."
"Hello, folks. I am ready to detassle now for you. I'm sorry for the delay, but now that we're back here in this great cornfield of Ioway, I will demonstrate how to-- how would you say pluck, or detassle a tassle. First, you grab on to the meaty part on the top, not too many leaves. This is just practically ripe. Then with your muscle, put it in there and... pop it out! See? And that, my friends, is detassling."
"And lets take a look at the left. This is just some, some like, partially it's beans and the other stuff, ya got me kid, ya got me."
"And these, my friends, are our wonderful cows here in Ioway. Aren't they beautiful animals? They supply us with meat, and they supply us with milk, and cheese, and this is the noise they like to make-- 'Mooooooooooo!!' And see how they're looking? They might want to do it, keep watching. Oh, I think we've pissed them off. I think we'd better go 'cause he's getting ready to charge. Goodbye, now!"
"The sheep cry all night long and we don't know why. We don't know why they cry all night long.. They're probably being slaughtered. They do a lot of slaughterings here. The sheep keep you up all night long!! (Baaa) I'm scared. (Baaaaa) I'm so scared!"
"Mmmm. Oh! Hello again! Did you enjoy the road trip? Oh, I hope so. I just wanted to tell you all how much I really enjoyed our road trip. This really is how beautiful Iowa is with the beautiful corn fields and the beautiful bean fields, and the cows, and the sheep, and there's so much more I'd like to show you. If you would just please come and visit us once in a while, you'd get to learn to."

Category:

Travel & Events

Tags:

• Iowa
• road
• trip
• gravel
• roads
• corn
• fields
• hay
• beans
• cows
• sheep