My older brothers bacherlor party/toaster bashing

Towards the end of my brothers party some friends brought out the toaster for a time old tradtion.

The Sacred origin of toaster bashing

The sacred origin of toaster bashing on the night of the bachelor party is a time honored tradition taken with much mirth and joyity. It is an opportunity to take out all future frustrations on this most humble of household appliances.

The toaster represents your soul, and it's destruction represent...well you get the idea. The repeated bashing against your head also causes the skull to soften and become more pliable, to allow what's inside to be re-shaped and re-molded by the new woman in your life.

Everyone who's seen the movie "The Brave Little Toaster" knows that toasters, are, well, brave. It is an act of manhood to vanquish so brave an opponent using only repeated headbutts. The repeated smashing of your cranium against the brave and sturdy object causes concussion, which makes it increasingly easier to utter phrases like "yes dear" with the appropriate blank, compliant and utterly servile expression. From this movie, we have those infamous terms: "You're Toast", I'm toasted", and "when she finds out about this, your toast!"

The scars it will leave on your forehead will remind you of the wild parties of your youth and former single life, parties which you no longer be attending. A life that you, the soon to be non-bachelor will no longer enjoy.

The Toaster also has to do with a roomful of drunk guys with no more brains or sense than the toaster itself, picking up the first object within reach and ramming it in their foreheads. The symbolism became clear only when the hangover wore off.

That's the solemnly and symbolism of the toaster ritual, in a nutshell. The complete leather bound, ever growing set of 24, is available at any adult bookstore and in the camping gear section of walmart.

Go ahead, give it a good one...Get Toasted.

Category:

People & Blogs

Tags:

• bachelor
• party
• toaster
• smashing
• skulls
• drunk
• drunken
• fun
• group
• beer
• bud
• light
• destroy
• appliances

[DanReborn]

er... sorry to be overly observant.. but.. where is the beer?