A woman who suffered years of domestic abuse at the hands of her partner is urging others who are in a similar position to seek help as soon as possible.
The woman from north Wales, who wishes to remain anonymous, has spoken of her experiences in order to help others and to help promote the current Domestic Abuse campaign which is being coordinated to tie in with the Rugby Six Nations Championship.
The 'Domestic Abuse Ruins Lives' campaign is being coordinated as it is recognised that during major sporting events, incidents of domestic abuse increase because more alcohol is being consumed. The campaign also aims to deter perpetrators of domestic abuse, warning them that police can and will take prompt action. It also encourages those who are suffering abuse to seek the additional help and support that is available.
Asked about what had happened to her in the past the woman said: "It stems back many years of being in a household with somebody who dominated - controlled by tantrums, violence and threats. He did the most dreadful things to me and the children to get his own way - irrational behaviour that had no logic.
"He was never happy until everyone around him was miserable. He was controlling, domineering and you could never do anything right.
"He couldn't cope with anything that didn't go his way. So much went on it just became a hurdle after a hurdle.
"He tormented me - I don't think he use my name in ten years. He told me I was useless, a waste of time and nobody would ever marry me. Anything I ever did was wrong."
Feeling she was completely isolated, the woman then set about transforming her life and turned to help from Women's Aid, which proved to be the lifeline she desperately needed.
"I found a book in the library that enlightened me to the help that was out there. And because his behaviour was getting worse and worse and I was terrified that one of my children would stand up and maybe go too far in protecting me I had to make a stand.
"There is help out there and there are agencies that can help. Women's Aid have been incredible - I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them. They have been fantastic - they've explained things that frightened me and put things in proportion and kept contact. I don't think I would have coped otherwise."
Asking how she felt now the woman said: "Freedom - I have freedom and now I can make my own decisions. I can actually answer as me. I couldn't ever say anything before without wondering what would be the right answer, and as I was told and found out it was never the right answer.
"I urge anybody who is suffering from domestic abuse - be it physically or mentally, to get help. There is no need to suffer in silence; there are so many organisations out there that can offer their support."
Detective Chief Inspector Kelly Isaacs from North Wales Police's Public Protection Unit said: "We are urging victims of domestic abuse to break their silence and speak out. Likewise, we are also calling on family members, friends, neighbours and work colleagues to contact us should they have concerns that someone they know is experiencing domestic abuse.
"Domestic Abuse takes many forms and can be defined as any threatening behaviour, violence or abuse - emotional, psychological, physical, sexual or financial.
"This woman has been extremely brave talking about her experiences in order to try and help others, and we are extremely grateful to her.
"Please don't suffer in silence. There is help and support out there - pick up the phone and make that all important call. Don't allow Domestic Abuse to be a hidden crime."
Abuse and violence in the home is never acceptable under any circumstances. There is help and support available through the 24-hour domestic abuse helpline. There is no need to suffer in silence. The 24-hour Wales Domestic Abuse helpline can be contacted on 0808 80 10 800.
In an emergency always dial 999. If you would like to speak to a member of your local Neighbourhood Policing Team please contact North Wales Police on 101.
Note:
*The photograph is posed by models*
For further advice and information regarding Domestic Abuse please visit the North Wales Police website
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