Dear Frat Boy

Please don't take this personally. This is a response to TFM, and completely a joke.
With love,
Sorostitutes

Dear frat boy
There's some things I've been meaning to say
Dear frat boy
Yeah, I know you've been hazing all day
But the iPhone 12 you just got
Well, it doesn't get service a lot
And I'm sure it's covered in pledge puke, anyway

But dear frat boy,
Do I have to wear black to pledgeline?
Oh, frat boy,
I'll drink Andre, but nobody died
If I'm drunk, I'll shack in your bed
Or maybe the futon instead
But I won't wear your t-shirt if it says *cough* Phi

Dear frat boy,
I'll be there for the tailgate at noon
But oh, frat boy,
OU Weekend is coming up soon
I'm buying orange fanny packs
Do you like koozies and neon hats?
I'll paint you a cooler, but please get a hotel room

You think romance is shotgunning beer,
Please leave the Natty Light here
You keep buying me North Face and Yurman, but I don't care
I'll let you call me your slampiece when you do more than just lay there

Dear frat boy,
Would it kill you to go to the gym
Cause oh, frat boy
GDI's got me looking at them
I should tell you, pastels aren't hot
I don't care that your dad's got a yacht
And hipsters look hotter in Sperry's, so they win.

Goodbye frat boy,
Gotta get to my history test
Cause oh, frat boy
You can bet I won't be M.R.S.
You know, fishing shirts aren't for girls
And I'm getting real tired of pearls
And I can do without stroking your ego, you're a mess
Goodbye frat boy

Category:

Comedy

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