'Twas My Night at the Late Show

My 12th attempt at the poem. Now in new convenient video format 'cause readin' is hard.


Twas my night at the Late Show and all through the Ed
Pages clapped in the aisles as if sick in the head.
The cameras were hung by the desk and each chair,
In hopes that Dave Letterman soon would be there.
The audience was nestled all snug in their seats,
While visions of Daddy made their hearts skip two beats.
With Alan in a kerchief and Rupert in his cap,
I knew we weren't in for a one hour nap.
When out in the Green Room, there arose such a clatter
Staff ran up to Gaines to see what was the matter.
A guest mustve cancelled and with all of the strain
And the economy imploding- it must be McCain.
When what to my wondering eyes came instead
But Keith Olbermann and his big giant head.
Eddie, the warm-up guy, was ready to go,
And so, in a moment, they'd start the Big Show.
More rapid than cardinals, band time must've came,
Cause he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
"Now Sid, Now Felicia,
Now, Anton, Al, Will.
On Bones, On Bruce,
And at the top of the bill...
To the top of the bandstand,
With no red nose at all
Now clap away! Clap away!
Here comes Paul!"
And then, in a twinkling, I heard near the stage,
The prancing and pawing of each CBS page.
As I drew in my breath and was turning around,
Downstage DAVID LETTERMAN came with a bound.
He was dressed by Sue Hum, from his head to his foot,
His peninsula hairpiece- the color of soot.
With a bundle of jokes thanks to Inky's hard labors,
And I thought- Wake the kids! Phone up the neighbors!
Who cares if the other guy gets 10 oclock?
I wouldnt give their troubles to a sneezing monkey on a rock.
His eyes- how they twinkled! His gapped teeth so fine
Come home, Come home, I thought, Its suppertime!
Then Lyle slunk out, a right creepy young elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
He boosted my yang, he was hot with two "T"s
He called Letterman Dingus up in that piece.
Youve gotta go large cause when that Lyle enters
Hell break down your walls and get to your gooey centers.
Then the Federal Bureau of Miscellaneous Information
Said when Dake was on Jeopardy most people changed the station.
Then with a toss of a pencil, and a shake of his fist,
Dave proceeded to read us his top ten list.
He finished his list and went straight to his work,
Interviewing celebrities who may think he's a jerk.
Then laying his pencil aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, the show came to a close.
He sprang to his feet, to his staff gave a whistle,
And off flew his jacket like the down of a thistle,
But I heard him exclaim as he strolled out of sight
"Thanks for being here, come again, and to all a goodnight!"
-Marilyn Sargent

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• Letterman
• Late
• Show
• Twas
• the
• Night
• Before
• Christmas
• Lincoln
• AFL

[EarleYetter]

I dig the stockings!

[2013josh]

lol

[TomBoston191]

Awesome video !

Loved the shoes...

em, the thrown ones.

Thanks.

[bostonbill47]

Excellent! The kids parents must be very very

proud;)

[CarWashMike]

Excellent.

[zzzdoctor]

I nearly coughed up lung tissue from laughter. I enjoyed this, arguably more than Traci enjoyed Liza.

[Weighmaster24]

Somebody needs to send you the real "Late Show Fun Facts" book.

[teadrinker12351]

Jeez Marilyn ~ It gets better every year!

Thanks and Merry Christmas to you and the dead guy. :)