Sunglasses of Justice!

A collection of David Caruso's awful one-liners from CSI: Miami season 5. Also, witness Horatio's amazing powers of teleportation in the first clip!

Things I've Learned From CSI: Miami:

1: It's perfectly okay for a police officer to murder someone, as long as they do it in another country.
2: All crimes can be solved in a single working day.
3: Suspects will always confess on being presented with damning evidence, and never ask for a lawyer.
4: There are no old people in Miami.
5: Every citizen of Miami-Dade County is on the police fingerprint and DNA database, whether or not they've ever committed a crime.
6: Five-inch stiletto heels are perfectly reasonable daily workwear, even on beaches.
7: The Hummer H2 is the most efficient and practical police vehicle ever built.
8: Frank Tripp is the only detective in the entire Miami-Dade Police Department.
9: There is no need for CSIs to wear overalls, masks, goggles, hair nets or even gloves while gathering and examining forensic evidence, as their sheer personal magnetism ensures that stray skin flakes and hairs remain glued to their bodies.
10: CSIs don't need private offices, as they can just stand in garishly-lit glass corridors or on the front steps of their building and wait for people to walk up and give them vital information.

And the most important rule of all...
11: Horatio Caine is never wrong, even when he's plainly and blatantly wrong. And somewhat creepy.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• csi
• miami
• caruso
• horatio
• caine
• sunglasses
• yeeaaaaahhhh
• one-liners
• hummer
• h2
• tripp
• divorce
• of
• the
• future
• cold
• as
• ice

[hothotheat3000]

This show is just great. I'm addicted to it, and to the sheer over-the-top hilarity that is Horatio Caine. The glasses, the one-liners, the crooked head, I LOVE HIM!

[DomainUnavailable]

I love how he takes off his sunglasses at 6:04, only to immediately put them back on again, seconds later.

[mi15sy]

"that's real cold-blooded", "no, its as cold as ice" YEAAAAAHHHH!

[lexakate79]

I still don't know why this show hasn't been nominated in a comedy category. I can't stop laughing at the first one.

[cezto999]

Was that an explosive bullet?

[dinoatcharterdotnet]

6:04 lolololol, cool guys dont look at explosions...

[tryingtogetanameomg]

"Welcome to divorce... of the future"

YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Roflmao

[TKA001]

Damn, I underestimated this guy. Knew everything about him in this show was ham and over-the-top badassery but I never expected him to kill a fucking semi with one bullet.

[webmastertool]

lol he pulled a Jason Bond.

[N1CKD305]

I laugh hysterically when he says his one liners and walks away. "Im like were are you going, your at the crime scene already . LOL!!! this show is great bcuz of the satisfaction it gives to the viwers. action,drama and of course comedy..Thank you David Caruso your the best.

[lovethosebudgies]

Ack, I'd be embarrassed to be one of the show's writers. Seems the Big Guy is often reading lines taped to his shoe! And calmly strolling away from from a car bomb explosion? Good grief...