Black Patriarchy: Black Dictatorship?

......Why is it When a Black Man speaks about leading his family he's "Mister" from the Color Purple by Default....

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[BronzeTrinity]

OK, swearing isn't necessary. I'm jgoing to say that you and I come from different places and have led very different lives. I grew up feeling safe, there was no gun violence, and I have never really felt threatened or in need of someone to protect me. In my family the big decisions were about loans, buying a computer or car, where to go to school, vacations, braces etc. These are not life or death situations or even serious decisions that would make anyone upset if they didn't get their way.

[BronzeTrinity]

@BronzeTrinity Because of this, I don't think of a protector or leader when I look for a man. I feel so safe it doesn't cross my mind! I don't think about who will make decisions because the decisions are not that serious. If an emergency comes up, who knows what will happen and who will be of the right mind to make the decision. If it's something serious, I still that that my husband and I will evaluate the evidence the same way and come up with a decision. 

[DaSurreal1da]

@BronzeTrinity You dont have to think of a protector because someone was good at protecting you. Even if you dont stress your personal need for protection, the potential man in your life will. He's looking and considering things in the environment that you may not even perceive in order to maintain that level of protection your used to.In other words the man, every decent man that you date is on guard so you dont have to be. You ever seen your mans eyes going back and forth at a club?Thats why.

[DaSurreal1da]

@BronzeTrinity I can completely understand where you're coming from. Our different backgrounds leads us to want different traits in a mate. The fact that you grew up feeling safe lets me know your parent(s) loved you and did a good job. I'd like to give that safe feeling to my fam. I'd like them to know that know matter the situation , I'll handle it.Sometimes that role requires you to be a "coach" to use your words, but not that of a despot.Thats all I was trying to relay.

[BronzeTrinity]

@DaSurreal1da Cool! This makes me wonder though if some women want thugs because they don't feel safe and think these men are the best equipped to protect them? My feeling safe is probably why I'm not attracted to thugs because I fear they will actually hurt me. Similar to the way I think having a man be the leader would somehow hurt me. Interesting isn't it?

[DaSurreal1da]

@BronzeTrinity That is interesting indeed....

[ApollosInsight]

It's funny how many men who don't know the damage of feminism will relegate this "female rebellion" to slavery, which isn't true. The reality is, The black family was in the state of progress until the 1960's, during the time of the feminist movement.

I consider this to be the most destructive force on the black family. Nowadays, BW feel as if they're competing against us, all the while seeing many of us date non-black women. Self-hating or domineering are the labels we will forever receive.

[BronzeTrinity]

@BronzeTrinity So maybe those women who go after thugs go after the meanest, toughest looking men because they are so in need of protection. "Nice guys" complain that too man BW want thugs, but maybe the women are just trying to protect themselves and don't think the nice guy can do that. So we can't really blame them, just like no one can blame you for wanting to protect your family. These nice guys have to go for girls like me then!

[BronzeTrinity]

@BronzeTrinity I think this goes to show, people need to date and marry people like themselves because they will have similar experiences and see things in a similar way. The man I end up with will likely have had an easy life like me where he didn't need to lead anyone other than a sports team, school project, or work team where the decisions were no serious. He might not know what to do in an emergency but I don't bother worrying about it. :)

[BronzeTrinity]

@BronzeTrinity Like amputating the leg. I think we would come up with the same conclusion, choose what is least likely to cause death because he can get by without a leg. That's why I want someone with an education, because he would think more like me (nothing to do with intelligence). So, when you and other men talk about BM being the leader it makes me think of tyrants because it seems unnecessary based on my life. My life was easy so I don't think about these things and neither do my friends.