Cindy Gallop: Make love, not porn (Adult content)

At TED2009, audience member Cindy Gallop gave a 4-minute presentation that became one of the event's most talked about. Speaking from her personal experience, she argued that hardcore pornography had distorted the way a generation of young men think about sex. She talked about how she was fighting back with the launch of a website -- http://makelovenotporn.com -- to correct the myths being propagated. You can comment on this talk here: http://blog.ted.com/2009/12/cindy_gallop_ma.php

TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, development and the arts. Closed captions and translated subtitles in a variety of languages are now available on TED.com, at http://www.ted.com/translate. Watch a highlight reel of the Top 10 TEDTalks at http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/top10

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• porn
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• reeducation

[cindygallop]

@iiKArMii So sorry - it's my earrings - will never wear them for public speaking again - have been apologizing at regular intervals all through this comment stream.....:)

[cindygallop]

@Tomasito261 Delighted to hear not an issue with you & your friends! The emails on 'About' page of site are only a few of thousands of responses I have received since I launched MLNP nrly 3 years ago (incl professionals/experts reaching out too to confirm) Pl email cindyatifwerantheworlddotcom, wd love to schedule Skype/phone call to discuss & also to share more detail about my personal sex life & the men I date :) as no, what you say is not accurate (and, ahem, I should know :) Many thanks.

[cindygallop]

@iaffe Thank you! Do read my (very short, very cheap!) TED e-book 'Make Love Not Porn: Technology's Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior', available on iTunes & Amazon - and look out for makelovenotporndottv launching in March...I think you'll like it :)

[iaffe]

I am so happy somebody is talking about this! I agree with you 100%. I think sex education should be about safety (I mean besides the overly discussed STD issues, there are other problems), trust and how to reach an orgasm (a lot of women don't)...

[cindygallop]

@mikesomething Many thanks for your feedback. Please do check out the 'About' page of the site to see just some of the many emails I've received in the 3 years since launching MakeLoveNotPorn, from young & old, male & female, that demonstrate why this is an issue & it's not just me :) Also, please see my apology/response to @jhop9898 a few comments below re the clit screen :) Pl email me cindyatifwerantheworlddotcom, v happy to discuss further on phone or Skype - many thanks.

[mikesomething]

some people do have sex just like in porn movies, just cos this woman doesnt, doesnt mean porn is unrealistic.

there HAS to be some sort of pressure on the clit ? what a load of shit.

porn doesnt claim its always real, for all people, it just is what it is. yet this woman sets up a website claiming to be real, and the example she puts up is clearly false.

fail

[cindygallop]

@dogliker2 Thank you! Although I would just stress that MakeLoveNotPorn is a gender-equal proposition - girls/women are equally impacted by their own porn-watching when it acts as default sex ed, in different but equally unfortunate ways. Check out the 'About' page of site for examples, & my short TED e-book (available on iTunes/Amazon) 'Make Love Not Porn: Technology's Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior', which I think you'll enjoy :)

[dogliker2]

@cindygallop Yeah, I soon realised this after watching the whole talk. Apologies. Still what I meant (and clearly didn't say) was that what similarities I saw with you and her is that men (predominantly young boys) are being taught this rather brutalised version of masculinity through hardcore sex. “What hope if there for [his] natural sexuality to develop when he has been trained in hard-core misogyny?” But yes, I agree with you ENTIRELY and I love the message you are sending :) Excellent work!

[cindygallop]

@dogliker2 Well, the difference with me is that I'm pro-porn, not anti-. The issue I am tackling with MakeLoveNotPorn is not porn; it's the lack in our society of an open healthy dialogue around sex and porn, that would enable people to bring a real-world mindset to the viewing of what is artificial entertainment. If you boiled my message down to one thing, it would be purely and simply 'Talk about it'. :)

[dogliker2]

This reminds me of an article I had read with anti-porn activist Melinda Tankard. Excellent. Funnily enough same phrasing: "the ubiquity of porn"

[jhop9898]

@cindygallop You're welcome. I was surprised that a girl could an orgasm that way too. I wasn't trying to give her one, I just couldn't leave her breasts alone ;)

And nice website. Not enough people realize sex is a healthy and fun part of life. Good luck with your mental orgasms. John