No Higgs [at the LHC]

Anthem of a young theoretical physicist. Here are the lyrics:

You could talk aged one
And read Hamlet aged two
Wrote cuneiform script
And spoke latin
Beat deep blue at chess
Memory flawless
Built a robot
To clean your room

Started school aged three
And finished aged four
You knew twice as much
As your teachers
They were so confused
By the maths you used
Well you loved to count
In base thirteen

Oh I hope they find no Higgs
At the LHC
No extra dimensions
No supersymmetry
Oh it's the only way
To set all those smart kids free

You won every prize,
They were twice your size
In the schoolyard they beat
You unconscious
Finished high school bore
Twice the perfect score
Started uni when
You were ten

It was easy still
Yet more of a thrill
All the pieces were
Coming together
You took every course
And aced them of course
All that algebra and calculus
Geometry, analysis,
Mechanics, Relativity
And finally string theory

I hope they find no Higgs
At the LHC
No extra dimensions
No supersymmetry
Oh it's the only way
To set all those smart kids free

It's the hardest there is
So that's what you do
It makes you feel dumb
And retarded
But you think what the hell
And you dive right in
And decide that you"ll
Make it work

But now years have passed
And progress is slim
You still don't know what
You're doing
You're tied up with strings
And you don't think it's true
But now that you started
You want to pull through

They make conjectures, but never predictions
Unfalsifiable, pointless, it's fiction
See all those geniuses tied up with strings
They could all work on more interesting things

Doesn't look like it's TOE
Prob'ly not even GUT
You only do it because
You're stubborn
You lose touch with the world
It forgets about you
And the funding's
Drying up

The landscape's too big
And we're lost in it
But we shut our eyes and
We keep going
We're getting nowhere,
Losing our hair
We only do it because
It's there

Oh I hope they find no Higgs
At the LHC
No extra dimensions
No supersymmetry
It's the only way
To set all those smart kids...
Hope they find no Higgs
At the LHC
Crazy fast neutrinos
No supersymmetry
Oh it's the only way
To set all those smart kids free

Credits:
Written by Lisa and Nora
Performed by Frank, Lisa and Ralf
Actors: Ewa, Frank, Lisa, Nora and Ryszard
Directed and edited by Nora

Category:

Entertainment

Tags:

• science
• parody
• LHC
• Higgs Boson
• neutrino
• Einstein
• physics
• phd
• string theory
• anarchy
• susy
• supersymmetry Science Physics

[kornellster]

Which university are u guys from?

[Sighingsocks]

@kornellster actually... no two people in the video are employed by the same university/institute i think... most of us work in and around berlin but two guests work in warsaw and dartmouth (hope i spelled that right...)...

[Skrithuurz]

Ahah, this is funny.

By the way, the youtube usual comment is missing: what's the original song's name?

[Sighingsocks]

@Skrithuurz ...i believe the original songs name is "No Higgs"

[BADALEX1]

Physics really is a total headbutt sometimes.

Undergrad: "Why are you doing physics?"

"Because it's really cool! I think it's a great way to help the world and it's really amazing!"

Honours: "Why are you doing physics?"

"Well, it's really quite interesting and very important."

Postgrad: "Why are you doing physics?"

"I really don't know anymore."

[TigreModerata]

sing us a song about all those other interesting things that we should be doing instead!!!!! i'm really really curious!!!!!

[Devoradoptio]

Wow!! Homo Sapiens es!! :-D

[nicouh]

@quaithe1 geil, ich studier an der HU und hör gerade ART bei Nicolai =)

[ohgeeitsph4rrah]

@KenArrari go to work. think about stuff.

[Sighingsocks]

@KenArrari Basically... Studying Physics is a good bet.

[BADALEX1]

@KenArrari Depends on the type of theoretical physics and how well it's going. When it's going well, I sit in my office, look out at the tree, chew my pen and contemplate the nature of the universe and do maths. When it's not going well, I bit my pen in half, get ink all over my mouth and scream a little bit.

[ijustlost]

@BADALEX1

Postdoc: "Why are you doing physics?"

"It's all I'm able to do anymore."