Classic Kermode: The Da Vinci Code

My favorite Kermodean rant of all-time.

Category:

Comedy

Tags:

• mark
• kermode
• simon
• mayo
• the
• da
• vinci
• code
• dan
• brown
• ron
• howard
• tom
• hanks
• audrey
• tautou
• ian
• mckellan

[TulseLuper]

@BigBoss7777777 Over one movie? Are you serious?

[mammers11]

this review was so much more entertaining than the film

[KRSsven]

Mark Kermode is right virtually all of the time, he can dismantle anyone's argument very quickly and actually has the conviction to simply tell people they are wrong. Even here, he says he went into it wanting to like it (which should bias it towards the positive).

[Transformers2themax]

@LucasW180 I know that--I was referring to this TulseLuper fellow, who seems to handle things through mindless vulgar.

[LucasW180]

@Transformers2themax no he doesnt, hes even stated that Filme Socialisme is total nonsense

[Transformers2themax]

@Lessdeth14 And for your information, film is passion. I am a student of art and an aspiring filmmaker and only set artists such as Kubrick, Ridley Scott, Hitchcock, Tarantino, Leone, and Argento as inspirations. I've probably seen films from before your grandparents were alive...I just happened to enjoy The Da Vinci Code. Although I knew most of the mythology present in the film, I thought it was well-executed.

[Transformers2themax]

@Lessdeth14 So now it's clear that you're unaware of the fact that the Michael Bay films (in this case, "film" being a word which I use loosely) are just adaptations of an entire franchise of cartoons, comics, and Hasbro toys? And did it ever occur to you that my username was troll bait? Only a hater with nothing else to backup their argument would attack someone for their username.

[Lessdeth14]

@Transformers2themax Sorry, a name such as yours disqualifies you from any and all movie related discussions. It's like calling yourself "justinbieberisthebestrocksing­er4eva" and discussing heavy metal bands throughout the ages.

[Transformers2themax]

Bad material? Are you sure you're not just offended by the possibility that Jesus Christ had a wife, and even offspring? And exactly what would you do in that art gallery that a seven year old wouldn't? "Ooooh, real-looking drawings...." Also interesting how you attack Lucas's storytelling. True, he's not a fantastic storyteller. He's great with storylines and concept--but perhaps it's the same case with the Da Vinci Code...Still, you think Filme Socialisme tells a story?

[Transformers2themax]

Sure, it was no cinematic masterpiece, but it was fairly cinematic. It's just the kind of film that requires patience, something Mark Kermode obviously lacks. The sequences portraying events in history pasted with monologues set the pacing very well. Tom Hanks was convincing enough, McKellen was great as usual...Yeah, the French chick bothered me, but it wasn't as bad as Kristen Stewart in everything I've seen her in. Roger Ebert summed the film up better than anyone....

[TulseLuper]

@Transformers2themax I'm insulted by bad material, yes. What's there to think about exactly? Enlighten me. If I wanted to think, I would watch a Peter Greenaway film or take myself to an art gallery. Dan Brown's writing is George Lucas-level bad.

[Transformers2themax]

Nevertheless, the word "movie" still sounds very simple and nontechnical...I find it very ironic how you would understand me liking Filme Socialisme but not The Da Vinci Code. Alphaville is the only Godard film I've ever enjoyed. And what do you mean by "finally"? I'm not a pseudo-intellectual--I just happen to enjoy actually having to think when watching works of cinema. You and Mark are obviously just insulted by the material.