A setback is a setup for a comeback right?

DO NOT CLAIM COPYRIGHT! Do NOT REMOVE MUSIC! If this audio is removed I will curl up in a ball and die. =/ not really, but pretty close! DO NOT REMOVE! Song is Goodnight Goodnight by Maroon 5, my favorite band =] If they have copyright crap then I will be utterly disappointed.

So, this is just NOT my month. College is INSANE and way stressing me out, and Empy has decided to start stopping at larger fences and not be an honest jumper. It has sucked. Most of the stop clips in here were from today, where we were horrible at jumping, we were trying to cement her confidence and convince her that I will set her up right and all she has to do is jump, but no, I think it actually made it worse.
This video has so many overused clips, I just needed a carthadic release and making a vid was my way to try and chill.
So I kind of flipped out and went for a drive, thinking about what would happen if I stopped riding competitively and considered careers like being a surgeon or a lawyer. I mean I WORK SO hard, for every little thing and its like we never make progress, its so difficult, and I have to figure out what to do with my life and where I want to go and etc.

And I end up back at my college for some odd reason, and found a little pond hidden in a grove of trees. I tried to catch baby catfish and frogs but was unsuccessful,lol. then I wander through the trees and come across a field full of broodmares and foals. My college is an equine based one, and the breeding program is always in full swing here. Im looking at them all and suddenly a foal gets caught on the other side of the fence and tries to jump back in and falls! Like a rotational flip that made him land on his side. =[ So I have to go into the field and check on him (the foals have never been handled btw). He was fine though. But as I am surrounded by 20 babies and their moms I just realize I am physically unable to step back and be uninvolved, I can't just have riding for a "hobby", training and riding is my life. Im unable to stop doing what I do as much as I was unable to stop rushing into a field to check on that foal. They say a crazy person is someone who does the same thing over and over again expecting different results. I guess I am crazy then. Im going to keep going, and even if I have to change my discipline, or whatever, I can't stop and I can't change who I am, and I don't think I want to.

I also was thinking about how exactly 5 1/2 years ago Empy was born, and how my friend texted me that Inky finally had foaled. And how Empy would only let me touch her and catch her and was so curious and flighty and adorable and unique and the most amazing thing I had ever seen. Back then I never thought, well, this horse could be a future top show jumper, or a future top anything. She was my baby, who if she never even was properly halter broken or rideable she would be amazing. And how now we keep getting handed these ultimatums, how if she can't do a 3' course her 5 year old year she won't amount to anything later on, if she doesn't get flying lead changes 100% of the time she's behind, if I can't do courses at 4' then I am unqualified to teach a young horse to jump. . . all these stereotypes and ideas and timelines. Well, Im stopping, I AM DONE. Im not going to fit a schedule with her, everyone has plans but in the end, thats ALL they are. Its not fun, its stressful, and wrong. I want her to WANT to do that 3' course and she's not there yet, she may never be. And thats okay. I am going to use the October show to see how much she really wants to compete, and we will take it from there.

Because love is NOT an ultimatum. If it is, it's not love. I found her as a baby, and she will always be my "little girl". No matter what.

Category:

Pets & Animals

Tags:

• Inky's
• Ozark
• Empress
• Lauren
• May
• horse
• jumping
• high
• show
• training
• at
• home
• setback
• falls
• riding
• equestrian

[horsesofcourses1]

Oh....your description is sooo cute and true!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess you and me are having similar problems lately.....I fell off the other day, and after that I started thinking that maybe I am just a horrible rider since I can hang on when Zander completely fails over a jump. It made me think...why am I doing this? Then I remembered....horses are my life. They have gotten me through so many hard times by simply being them. I can't quit riding. I just can't. But I do need to change something.

[empy5]

@horsesofcourses1: Aw, I hope things get better for you! And don't get down on yourself, I've seen how Zander moves and he can be a tough beastie to stay on! Nope, we are unable to quit riding, you are def. right =] I think it will get better =] Im just going to change my outlook some and just try and have fun, and let Empy take her time, she still is jumping obsessed and as long as she is we will keep at it =] And Zander's inexperienced too right? I guess it just takes time. We will get there!

[horsesofcourses1]

@empy5 Thanks! Yeah, he can be obnoxious sometimes, while other times he is perfect, like how we just did our first flying change the other day. Yeah, Zander had never seen a jump before I started riding him!!! It does take time....and hard work....and lots of dirt to eat.....and whatever else comes with riding horses. But hey, we should be used to it by now, I guess!

[empy5]

@horsesofcourses1: Haha aren't they always special like that? They are always fine until they aren't. LOL. Congrats on the flying change =] I guess we should, us always working with the greenies!

[EmmaAndCasino]

Awwww Empy! You guys look great as usual! (: My pony loves stopping at fences every so often, it sucks when you expect them to go over lol! I'm sure the phase will pass though!

[empy5]

@EmmaAndCasino : Thank you so much!!!! I hope so its incredibly stressful,lol. And it does indeed suck, its like, going to go over yes yes yes, NOOO! heehee.

[horsesofcourses1]

@empy5 Yeah, they are!!! Thanks! Yeah, we should be, although the sad part is, Zander isn't really green. Yeah, green for English, but pretty darn good otherwise!

[horsesofcourses1]

Oh....your description is sooo cute and true!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess you and me are having similar problems lately.....I fell off the other day, and after that I started thinking that maybe I am just a horrible rider since I can't hang on when Zander completely fails over a jump. It made me think...why am I doing this? Then I remembered....horses are my life. They have gotten me through so many hard times by simply being them. I can't quit riding. I just can't. But I do need to change something.

[empy5]

@EmpigandPurple: Thanks so much, it really means an awful lot ;D

[EmpigandPurple]

@empy5 haha yeah she still does sometimes! And she's 9 now :P thankyou very much man, it does mean alot. you two will be fine im sure :) it's just about doing it at there own pace really :) but you'll do brill im sure, you already have and are!