"Lady Second" Custom in Japan

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[mspulgis22]

Interesting. Very contradicting points. I personaly feel strange when someone does it for me. I feel like I should have beat them to it! Lol I guess everyone has to have their own opportunity to show kindness,and every INDIVIDUAL has their own way of doing it.

Great topic! Thanks for bringing it up.

[jp10IamMeNotU]

@mspulgis22 thanks for your comments.

You are welcome

[forgottenmemories21]

Oops my comment cut off... I feel like "Should I run to the door as to not make them wait that long with the door open?" LOL it's ackward for everyone involved in that case. Personally, Japan's way sounds better.

[jp10IamMeNotU]

@forgottenmemories21 So, it is "case by case."

[forgottenmemories21]

I think most Americans don't consider the other person's feelings when opening a door for them. Rather they feel hurt or undervalued if someone didn't hold a door open for them so that's why everyone automatically keeps the door open for others to walk through. It's the "do unto others what you want to be done to yourself" mentality. However, I personally find it annoying sometimes when people are so far ahead of you and they open a door waiting for you to go through. Am I suppose to run for t

[jp10IamMeNotU]

@forgottenmemories21 It is interesting. I didn't know. But I like it!

Haha I understand your feeling. Totally. I'd also feel kind of sorry to make someone feel they have to hurry when I keep the door opened for them from far away.

[EternalRhapsody]

I find Japanese customs and social norms to be so perplexing and contradictory. They never reveal their true feelings, which is very frustrating for me. I am not a mind reader, do not expect me to know what you are thinking, especially if you saying something completely opposite.

Whenever I was nice to my Japanese lab partner, he said he felt burdened. I was annoyed that my nice gesture was being received negatively. Yeah…I will never understand the Japanese concept of debt and burden. Haha

[EternalRhapsody]

As a woman and a feminist, I don’t find it sexist when a guy holds the door for me. I see it as a nice gesture; however, I don’t demand it or feel entitled to it. I hold doors for men too. I see it more as an act of courtesy akin to saying “bless you” when someone sneezes.

Entitlement is annoying. You shouldn’t be expected to be treated like a prince or princess. You have hands, use them. Haha

[emikoakuma]

@jp10IamMeNotU Thank you! ^-^ I know! I cant let go of the door because if I do I'd hit someone!

[jp10IamMeNotU]

@forgottenmemories21 It is interesting. I didn't know. But I like it!

Haha I understand your feeling. Totally. I'd also feel kind of sorry to make someone feel they have to hurry when I keep the door opened for them from far away.

[jp10IamMeNotU]

@forgottenmemories21 Anyways, I appreciate that custom.

[jp10IamMeNotU]

@emikoakuma That's so kind of you then! What is funny is, when you open doors for somebody or anybody, you can't stop it just before someone. lol You will have to wait until no one comes.