Your head is pounding, you're fiddling with the bottom of your t-shirt waiting for me to speak a word. You're hurting. Your decisions are loose, they're fading away. Standing there is going to do you nothing, yet you seem to think that this is the perfect moment. But will you please explain perfect to me? You're not perfect, I'm not perfect. Nothing is perfect. You don't seem to recognize that. You don't seem to understand.
Crystal warm tears slide down my cheeks and exit from my jaws. You stare at me, still waiting. I shake my head, ready to speak but you beat me to it.
"Shane. Please. Don't leave me," you hit your breaking point and I squint confusingly.
"Why are you crying, babe?" The words escape my mouth, my hands reaching for yours.
"I love you, that's why." More tears leak out of both of our eyes. I grab you and hold you tightly, as you do the same to me. I smile through my tears and pull away, meeting your eyes with my own.
"I love you too, but ..why did you do it?" I ask the question I've been wanting to ask ever since I found out that dreadful secret.
All that comes out of you is tears. I look away, my hands shaking to know the truth. "I-I-I I don't know," you cry softly. I grit my teeth against each other, getting impatient. Am I going to get a proper answer or not?
"Can you just tell me why? Please?" I snap in a rude tone, but I regret it right away. I look into your cerulean eyes and close my eyes. "I-I'm sor-" You cut me off.
"I love him more," you say, looking me right into my eyes. I stand there, speechless. My tears are dry but I want to cry.
"So tell me. If you love him more, why do you fucking want me to stay?" I ask in my loud tone. Anger rises up inside of me, bubbling like the liquid in a witch's cauldron. The potion for heartbreak is brewing inside of me. Your love and mine tries mixing to make the pleasant lingering feeling but instead it creates fire. Instead of love, instead of warm, sweet sugar, it's hate. Pure insanity.
"I can't let you go," you whisper. I clench my teeth together, and raise an eyebrow, curiously, and in rage.
"You, my love, need to fucking decide on one man. Either that or I leave," I elucidate.
"I don't know though. He's just so perfect," I loose my temper at the word 'perfect'.
"Perfection is not real!" I shout. You look at me in horror because of the sudden outburst. I laugh loudly. "Perfection is not real." I whisper. Anger floats through me so much that I feel the need to whip an object to the ground. I feel the need to exit the room with this environment; heartbreak floating throughout the room. Not oxygen. I'm breathing in heartbreak.
"I guess what we had isn't enough," your squeaky voice escapes your tiny lips. I ball my hands up into fists, ready to punch the damn wall, but I reduce the level of negative anger inside of me. All for you.
The glass pitcher I bought for you is standing on your drawer top. It's filled with all of the notes we sent each other, letters filled with heartfelt words. I grab it furiously and turn it upside down. The hundreds of letters fall down swiftly.
"So this isn't enough? Are you even thinking right now? God damn it. We had enough. We had everything." I say loudly, then halting to a stop. I whip the glass pitcher across the room. It hits the wall at the opposite end and we both hear the piercing sound of the glass shattering. I close my eyes once more and then open them just to snap a picture of her in my mind. "This is the end then." My lips form a sweet smile and I walk out of the room. Just like that.
The picture of you standing there, that expressionless look on your face, floats in my head. I curse at myself for even snapping that picture. I curse at myself because your other man is perfect. I curse at myself for not being that 'perfect' you want.
But then again; nothing is ever perfect. You can try and portray it to be, but in reality it will never be that perfect. You can try catching perfection, but all you will end up with is somewhere near perfect.
There is never that perfect. Excellence, maybe. Divinity, maybe. Greatness, maybe. Amazing, sure. But never perfect. It's too far away for everyone. Definitely you.
[never perfect.] (28.01.11)
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Getting second eyebrow piercedby MsSugarbaby1748 views
What a wonderful piece! Keep up with the good work.
MagePurple 3 months ago